Peter Molyneux Reveals Yet Another Brand New Game Experience

Remember when Peter Molyneux made games rather than “experiences”? Thrilling titles where you could battle head to head with your rival and release torrents of flamey lava death to destroy your enemies’ village. Good times.

After that awful tapping game thing, Curiosity, and the rather lack lustre Godus, Peter is back and claiming his last game didn’t quite live up to his expectations (“lacked in narrative, progress and reward”) and that the new game will be utterly awesome.

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Stop me if you’ve heard all this before.

The new game, entitled The Trial, will be a mobile title based on social media interaction that will be “an experience never seen before” that is “bound to captivate us in just five seconds.”

Yes, of course it will Peter.

“It can be understood at a glance, and it entertains the idea of communication beyond words, by means of music, art, and so on,” Peter explained at the 4th Fun & Serious Game Festival.

“The problem with social media is that we communicate too much. If you and I, who are having a conversation right now, could only say ten words to each other, we’d feel frustrated, with lots of things to say that we can’t utter. But, on the other hand, we’d make every effort to make those ten words sound as meaningful as possible,” he added.

So, uhm, never heard of Twitter then Peter? Limited words, have to use your brain to get your message across in 140 characters? Twitter? That thing? It’s quite popular, perhaps you should give it a go.

What exciting game mechanic will Peter and 22 Cans be brining to their latest title? A ground breaking social interaction/FPS hybrid? An RPG system based on Facebook likes?

“Let’s think about a very simple notion like highest score tables. They tell you how good you are at playing the game. We all like them,” he explains.

Oh god.

“If I can get the game to excite people together,” continues Peter. “If I can make them feel the excitement of discovery together, if I can reach out to them not as individuals but as a group, if I can make them care about their neighbours as much as they care about themselves, then I think I can have a game that builds on feelings and emotions untapped so far.”

I have no words, so instead, here is a gallery of Peter Molyneux busting moves and doing some impressive Jazz hands. Perhaps he could feature on next year’s Strictly Come Dancing.

Source: The Fun & Serious Game Festival

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17 Comments

  1. Given that this whole article appears to be taking the piss out of Molyneux (with good reason), I spat coffee out at the phrase “the 4th Fun & Serious Game Festival”

    And then discovered that it’s ACTUALLY A THING! Which just adds to the long list of evidence against humanity.

  2. He is, and I don’t use this word lightly, a shitcunt.

    • Never seen those two words put together before, very effective though. Sounds like something Mr Lahey could have said on Trailer Park Boys.

      • Isn’t it a very obscure and disturbing sexual practice? Of the sort you’d better be bloody sure the other party or parties are absolutely, 100% up for.

        Like a Double Smurf Cannon. (Oh, go on. Someone Google that one ;)

      • Oh, hardy har har MrYd…

      • I’d recommend prophylactic antibiotics if any shitcuntery is undertaken.

  3. Still haven’t forgiven him for Black&White.

    • Wasn’t that one of the good ones?

      • It was good until you got to the third map. Well, the end of the second map. Because there was a bug that made it impossible to get to the third map.

  4. Read the title as Peter Molyneux Reveals Yet Another Bland New Game Experience

    • You could go one further for complete accuracy:

      Peter Molyneux Reveals Yet Another Bland New Lame Experience.

      As lets be honest, it’s unlikely to be a ‘game’ based on his recent efforts.

  5. He seems like a total douche, talking up his crap to be all unique and profound just to get attention, when actually it sounds dull and shit. It’s a no from me.

  6. Never heard of this guy before. What a wazzock.

  7. I can’t wait for this to change my life!

  8. Needs to take his head out his erse and put his talent to better use making actual games.

  9. Peter Molyneux’s fall from ’emphatic, optimistic generator of new ideas’ to ‘self-aggrandising, hyperbolic blowhard’ is genuinely an awful thing to witness.

  10. Ever since peter made the Fable series, I had a keen interest in him. The original fable was my favourite xbox title, (though a recent nostalgia play shows it should have been left behind) fable 2 was my favourite 360 title, and fable 3 I played on PC which was also great.

    But every time I read about his new stuff, it fills me with disappointment, is he still riding off the success of fable?

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