Sunday Thoughts: The Mashup

I’m not a dictionary, my vernacular is limited to describing bits of videogames that I like and dislike and moaning about framerates, so I’m got going to explain the concept of a mashup in any great detail here suffice to say that in the context of TheSixthAxis I want it to mean a mixture of all the good bits of various games.  With an acapella over the top.

I don’t possess God Of War III anymore, it winged its way (with the blessing of Icarus) to a warmer climate a week or two back – but I don’t really mind, I’m not in a hurry to play it again because I’m now back to causing hell in Hell and gunning down angelic demons with pistols strapped to my boots.  Yes, Dante and Bayonetta are back in favour at TSA Towers.

Not that they were ever out of favour, of course, but because I own both on the Xbox 360 I’ve been neglecting them a little, with most of my gaming time being spread thinly across the various AAA blockbusting PlayStation 3 titles I’m forced to endure – Dualshock in hand.  But I was thinking, what if there was some way of combining all three games?

A mashup, then, but without that bloody Kylie track spoiling the fun.  I like Kratos’ brutality and gait, but I don’t like the fact that all his weapons feel the same (but with ever prettier colours).  I like Dante’s journey, the circles of Inferno an intriguing locale for someone still fond of PC cult classic Realms of the Haunting.  But they’re both men.  Yawn.

The gaming world needs more anti-heros like Bayonetta.  Yes, the overt sexuality is ridiculous and the hair thing is plain stupid, but she’s sassy and savvy, and you can’t beat a player character with four guns and a backpack full of sharp blades.  Besides, she’s the only one set in modern times so she’s probably rocking an iPad or something down her pants, too.

So I’d need all three: Kratos’ attitude and swagger, Dante’s levels (and intelligence) and Bayonetta’s verve and charisma.  I think that would make a bloody brilliant game, as long as the main character doesn’t grow magical hair that leaves his rather jaundice meat and two veg on show every time he swings his sword.

Not that all this is ever likely to happen, of course.  There’s more chance of Banjo and Kazooie driving a kart around Samba de Amigo’s imagination, or Jet Set Radio’s Beat playing Tennis against a monkey in a ball.  I jest: mashups aren’t new in video games, it’s just that you need to combine genres that are poles apart.  And by the same publisher.