A while back, Sony launched the Gran Turismo clothing line which features an array of apparel to drape over your body. But is it any good? Will you look like les moustaches du chat and have members of the opposite (or same) sex wanting to lick you all over or will you look like a speccy geek?
“Clothes maketh the man” so join me and peruse some of the top fashions from the world of gaming. I shall be giving each item a handy rating out-of-five so you can avoid a fashion faux-pas and beome a joypad wielding hottie.
The Gran Turismo Windbreaker – Score: 1/5
We have a Gran Turismo Windbreaker in the TSA office – spending a day playing the game and only eating curries has that effect – will this jacket help conceal curry trumps?
Despite coming with ridiculous (and therefore high fashion) price tag of $169/£103 the Windbreaker is probably the least fashionable item of clothing I have seen in many years. A hundred quid for a pac-a-mac? No thanks.
The World Of Warcraft Horde Thong – Score: 4/5
Nothing says ‘I’m a limp wristed fairy botherer’ like World Of Warcraft, you are fooling no one Mr T, but there is a growing contingent of lady gamers joining MMOs and getting frisky with an axe. The rather skimpy WoW Thong is an essential purchase for female fans as they will bring pleasure to millions of male players across the globe as the following conversation occurs.
“I’m a female Elf, level 34.”
“I’m a male Orc, level 45. What are you wearing?”
“A World Of Warcraft Hoarde Thong.”
“My pants have just exploded. Buff pls.”
The Dead Space ‘Everybody Loves Peng’ T-Shirt – Score: 3/5
The problem here is that only Dead Space aficionados will know what Peng is. Those who do not – the vast majority of the world – will make their own assumptions as to who or what Peng is.
Perhaps a passing policeman would assume it’s a new narcotic, are kids snorting Peng rather than Meow Meow? Oh dear, you’ve just labelled yourself as a drug addict. Does that nice girl at the bar think that Peng is a new slang word for lady bits? Good luck trying to get a date when you’ve got “I’m a sexual deviant, I want to bury my face in your Peng’ slapped across your chest.
According to Urban Dictionary Peng is ‘the over-exaggerated description of a person with good looks or a nice body or both, e.g. ‘Shes proper Peng!’ so the T-shirt translates as ‘Everyone likes fit chicks’.
The Official DJ Hero Baseball Cap – Score: 2/5
It’s a fact that all DJ’s wear baseball caps, especially if you name is Dave Pearce and you are incredibly self conscious about your receding hair line.
Like Dave, DJ Hero is no longer a premium brand and is slowly fading from people’s memories. If you wear this cap you are stating ‘I’m a has been and can be bought very cheaply’.
A bit like Dave Pearce.
The Dead Island Banoi Resort T-Shirt – Score: 4/5
‘Inspired by the Surf t-shirts of the 70’s, the idea behind this design was to play with the irony between the paradisiac setting of the game and the horrific events happening on the island.’
That’s the sales blurb for this item and they’ve done a good job. At first glance it resembles a typical ‘holiday’ t-shirt but upon closer inspection the girl is not having a happy holiday and is plainly terrified. The small badge on the right states ‘”a place to DIE for”. Subversive, I like this a lot.
The Metal Gear Solid Field Shirt – Score: 5/5
As well as being a master of espionage and hand to hand combat, Snake is also a wonderful seamstress. The MGS Field Shirt is made of high quality robust cotton twill and fine herringbone detail, and paired with equally fabulous MGS Field Pants, this is the height of urban chic.
It is on the pricey side but the MGS Field Shirt is totes gorge, so much so I have just ordered one.
Like the sound of all of that? Well if your wardrobe is lacking some je ne sais quoi then you are in luck as I have fabulous, limited edition, medium size Deus Ex: Human Revolution t-shirt up for grabs. To win this desirable wardrobe delicacy, post a comment below before midnight BST , Sunday 14th August and a winner will be picked at random. As per usual this competition is subject to our normal Terms and Conditions.