Everyone else and their dog seems to be clamouring to post any spurious, tangentially related Grand Theft Auto V story today in an effort to drag their readership into looking at pages on their websites.
That’s the business, we get that and we don’t have a problem with it. But we like to do things for our readers as often as possible, rather than just coerce pageviews out of them (although your pageviews are much appreciated…) so we thought we’d have a bit of fun instead of writing a “top five things” article.
So, here’s the deal: The Grand Theft Auto V trailer goes live at 16:00 GMT and we’re sure everyone is already making predictions in their heads for what it will show. So let’s profit from that, right?
We want you to put those predictions in our comments below. Whoever has the most accurate or amusing prediction will win a £10 Amazon gift voucher to spend on coke or hookers or whatever it is GTA is going to drive society to this time (I’ll keep checking the Daily Mail to be informed). We’ll also give you a groovy custom tag to go beside your name in the TSA comments, if that’s your thing.
All our usual T&Cs apply, of course. We’re picking the winner and our decision is final so no arguing, okay? We’ll ignore any predictions made after the trailer goes live (which might be slightly before 16:00 so be warned!) Let’s have some fun…
Update: Winners have been chosen. Yes, that’s right: winners. There are two of them because we’re just do damn nice at TSA.
We chose jakegoodie92 for accuracy but we’re also awarding TSBonyman because he made us giggle. The prizes have been sent to the email addresses used when you signed up for TSA. Thanks for playing everyone!
G_The_Enemy14
At the start: Slow motion: Car pulls up, guy gets out, camera fades. Then music starts, quick snippets of things to come eg loads of shooting and explosions :p
R4U Eldave0
Fingers crossed it’s a 60second video showing a gang beating Cole Phelps to a pulp for being such a tool.
moshi
That would be a great dlc package.
Moshbag
I predict clips from all previous GTAs, each with the protagonist speeding through the city in a variety of fast cars accompanied by the appropriate era music, with the final cut being a massive fat guy pootling along on an obesycle in a supermarket carpark to some musak (maybe with a shotgun in the basket at the front).
DirtyHabit
I think (hope) they are going to go balls out on this one, especially after the opinions that the last GTA was too serious. Plus they are having to go up against the Saints row hype train.
So I’m going for a Helicopter/plane parachuting/base jumping montage with some exposions and squealing tyre car chases. Set mid to late 80’s, a couple of enviroment and character reveals. Fairly busy but not to crazy on the editing.
All set to ‘For the Love of Money/Living for the City’
In two minds as to what will happen in the trailer, but I’d love to hear that tune used…. great tune :D
R4U Eldave0
Hopefully you are right about their change in direction. As much as I am a SR fan these days, if GTA can also bring the goods in the whacky department I’ll gladly buy both :)
fattyuk
its going to show scenes of vegas with casinos, nightclub and dessert,grand canyon and the inner city.lotsof money and pretty girls.
And ‘possibly the character will be a casino owners son whi is out to take vegas over and become top dog.
ron_mcphatty
Wall Street – I reckon the game will accurately follow the story of the Sheen/Douglas epic and most of the action will happen in front of clacky old 80’s computers. It’ll be boring and we will all sing the praises of GTAIV!
Person678
San Andreas. Takes place in the near future. Turf Wars.
three_leg_jake
It will be in Vinewood (Rockstar’s version of Hollywood) and will be based around movie and music studios and the surrounding area.
SpikeyMikey23
good shout son, regarding the vinewood area ;)
yd
The most annoying trailer would just show lots of clips of all the previous games (just in case you’d forgotten, maybe due to suffering an odd number of blows to the head). It would feature some unrelated music and big captions reminding you how good they were.
Then we’d get 3 frames of the new game to analyse constantly for the next 6 months until the next trailer appears with a surprisingly far off release date.
Once the game is eventually released, it’ll be set in the future, on the moon. With zombies. And prostitutes with unusual numbers of breasts. The music will have a daring retro style and feature many bands from the 80s that all sound like a maths teacher whining about his girlfriend while someone chucks a draw full of cutlery down the stairs.
Everyone will complain about the lack of giant killer robots, but surveys will scientifically prove that the best thing about it is the magical unicorn named Bernard.
DirtyHabit
This is my winner right here! :D
LMFAO..
yd
It’s the prospect of Bernard the magical unicorn that does it for you, right?
I predict the Daily Mail will find that the most offensive bit, due to his special powers that involve inappropriate touching of his magical horn during a simple but entertaining mini-game.
DirtyHabit
Hopefully the mini game isnt leap frog….Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
:O
yd
Or if you do play leapfrog with a unicorn, make sure you let it do the jumping bit first. They’ll fly off into the sky farting rainbows. I believe that’s how they work.
D-Nichol
GTA V will be a complete rip of ‘The Wire’. Set in in a Baltimore like location you will get to touch between two protagonists. A ‘Stringe Bell’ or ‘Avon Barksdale’ type character. You get to then choose to empire build as stringer or get into gang wars with avon
You get to go to business 101 classes and everything.
I can dream anyway
D-Nichol
‘touch’…. Im disturbed I even went there. ‘choose’ is obviously what I meant. At least I hope its obvious
hazelam
fruedian slip?