Everyone else and their dog seems to be clamouring to post any spurious, tangentially related Grand Theft Auto V story today in an effort to drag their readership into looking at pages on their websites.
That’s the business, we get that and we don’t have a problem with it. But we like to do things for our readers as often as possible, rather than just coerce pageviews out of them (although your pageviews are much appreciated…) so we thought we’d have a bit of fun instead of writing a “top five things” article.
So, here’s the deal: The Grand Theft Auto V trailer goes live at 16:00 GMT and we’re sure everyone is already making predictions in their heads for what it will show. So let’s profit from that, right?
We want you to put those predictions in our comments below. Whoever has the most accurate or amusing prediction will win a £10 Amazon gift voucher to spend on coke or hookers or whatever it is GTA is going to drive society to this time (I’ll keep checking the Daily Mail to be informed). We’ll also give you a groovy custom tag to go beside your name in the TSA comments, if that’s your thing.
All our usual T&Cs apply, of course. We’re picking the winner and our decision is final so no arguing, okay? We’ll ignore any predictions made after the trailer goes live (which might be slightly before 16:00 so be warned!) Let’s have some fun…
Update: Winners have been chosen. Yes, that’s right: winners. There are two of them because we’re just do damn nice at TSA.
We chose jakegoodie92 for accuracy but we’re also awarding TSBonyman because he made us giggle. The prizes have been sent to the email addresses used when you signed up for TSA. Thanks for playing everyone!
hannes_truce
Set in the year 3000, GTAV tells the story of a young, wet behind the ears bounty hunter/ delivery boy who is set the task of trapping and killing (or befriending) a notorious robot and despot who has been terrorising the world. Armed only with an extendo-baseball bat and with the guidence of a retired hooker-bot you set about your task. Dr Zoidberg is a playable character.
bunimomike
Noooo!… hahahaha! Futurama reference x 2. Blast! :-)
bunimomike
I’d like it to be ‘GTA: Futurama’ – with a wonderful world of zany characters (mostly with American accents, weirdly), huge variety of vehicles and the chance to experience bullet-time after drinking 100 coffees.
hannes_truce
bloody hell :-o
rainydays458
Slow-mo, dubstep and guns…Lots of guns.
hazelam
it’ll be set it 2005, v being the roman numeral for five.
in vatican city and it’s surroundings, another v there.
it’ll be about the intrigue and plotting involved in choosing another pope after pope john paul died.
they’ll also show some of the ways you can pimp out the popemobile, like putting a stripper pole in the back.
no, not that kind of pole.
picture the Borgias, but with more guns and swearing.
and cars, don’t forget the cars. ^_^
yeah yeah, i know, i’m going to hell. O_O
hazelam
either that or it’ll be the biggest rickroll in history. ^_^
hazelam
wow, i was waaay off, on both counts. ^_^
Youles
I’m going to speculate that the main character is in a wheel chair. GTA is about being “PC” and equal rights. And you will no longer have to steel cars since you have your own set of wheels.
Youles
…and the number 5 is for the number of letters in the word I can’t spell correctly.
lenn117
I say its gonna be the city of sin las Vegas!! Prob show a car or three and some people walking about, maybe a shoot out with the police or fuzz as they are called. Id say we will prob see a few crashes and maybe some helicopters flying around. Also there will be some awesome music playing in the background and at the end if the trailer we will get voice over saying grand theft auto v. And we may get a date for a proper gameplay too, in and of course the customery r* logo
Sympozium
Set in LA, ala Los Santos
Set between 1990 – 2012
Multiple playable characters
Showing off the corrupt lands of Grove Street…. (the hood)
Shiny things….. and famous landmarks
Sympozium
oh I forgot, death of the internet
carson321
right, GTA V is going to be vice city, it’s going to show some gang related bungee jumping from a skyscraper cos it is the gang leaders birthday, there will also be a bouncy castle on the roof, but to make it interesting, it doubles as a helipad for the arriving choppers (quickest way to top of skyscraper)
There will be the promise of cake, which turns out to be a lie. The gang members get pissed pretty quick at this revelation, in both senses (angry and drunk) and promptly throw their leader off the roof without attaching his bunjee.
This provided the perfect opportunity for the protagonist to make a perfect landing after jumping from a plane, onto the bouncy castle, with cake for everyone, and to consequently take control of the gang
Mickey2010
it will start with shots of the city with some music in the back ground then it will end with the main charcter loading up a gun walking toward the camera saying ‘GTA V FALL 2012’
TSBonyman
Girlfriends can now be ignored, allowing for true realism.. ;)
Youles
And you can ignore your phone too, and maybe even get the occassional upgrade.
R4U Eldave0
I found this more funny than I probably should have…
colmshan1990
I did that once.
I’m single now. :P