GTA V – Speculate to Win

Everyone else and their dog seems to be clamouring to post any spurious, tangentially related Grand Theft Auto V story today in an effort to drag their readership into looking at pages on their websites.

That’s the business, we get that and we don’t have a problem with it. But we like to do things for our readers as often as possible, rather than just coerce pageviews out of them (although your pageviews are much appreciated…) so we thought we’d have a bit of fun instead of writing a “top five things” article.

So, here’s the deal: The Grand Theft Auto V trailer goes live at 16:00 GMT and we’re sure everyone is already making predictions in their heads for what it will show. So let’s profit from that, right?

We want you to put those predictions in our comments below. Whoever has the most accurate or amusing prediction will win a £10 Amazon gift voucher to spend on coke or hookers or whatever it is GTA is going to drive society to this time (I’ll keep checking the Daily Mail to be informed). We’ll also give you a groovy custom tag to go beside your name in the TSA comments, if that’s your thing.

All our usual T&Cs apply, of course. We’re picking the winner and our decision is final so no arguing, okay? We’ll ignore any predictions made after the trailer goes live (which might be slightly before 16:00 so be warned!) Let’s have some fun…

Update: Winners have been chosen. Yes, that’s right: winners. There are two of them because we’re just do damn nice at TSA.

We chose jakegoodie92 for accuracy but we’re also awarding TSBonyman because he made us giggle. The prizes have been sent to the email addresses used when you signed up for TSA. Thanks for playing everyone!



  1. GTAV will be set on Mars in a Total Recall scenario.

    • I would actually buy that!

      Would have to differentiate itself from the more recent Red Factions though.

    • See you at the party, Richter!

      • *SMACK*
        Consider that a divorce!

        Classic :D

  2. Set in a disaster hit city, perhaps via a hurricane or something, in America where gangs will try to control people and areas as they have no money or homes. Or something like that.

    • Being GTA, the trailer will have the following: Guns, tits, cars and a man who walks funny… The real question is where… your idea sounds good, but disaster hit city wouldnt really make for a good driving area. Unless you mean a city in England, lots of disasters here! lol. That said, If it is in England, trailer will have; guns, tits, cars and a man who walks funny complete with bowler hat and

  3. It’s easy to be safe on this: moody slow motion camera dollies, some dude walking, funky music… However, I’d love it if Rockstar went absolutely mental and Five was something completely off the wall.

    Like, perhaps, a game about Five. The band. Are they still alive? They could be really mad about a cover version of one of their wonderful hits, and go on a rampage around Hollywood, knocking on doors and legging it, stroking dogs the wrong way, that sort of carry on.

    I’d buy it.

    • Would they get on up, when they’re down? Would they also take a good look around, coming to the conclusion that although it’s not much it’s ok?

      • And 5 is about the highest they ever charted.

      • You say that, but they had a number 1 album and three number 1 singles. I did have to look this up though, I didn’t just know it.

      • Hmm, sounds suspicious.

        Also, my friend Juliet was in one of their videos, the Queen rip-off one.

      • 5IVE! What you waiting FOUR !? …..etc.

      • My wife is worryingly obsessed with Jay from 5ive, she even has an action man style doll that sings “If you’re getting down” when you press a button in its back.

    • Shit. Maybe that’s it… all this is just to announce 5ive are reforming.

    • It’s 5IVE not FIVE. Tsk!

  4. I’ve heard from a very unreliable source that the new GTA is going to be set in England.
    This isn’t anything to do with the recent riots, or the success of GTA London from days of old – it’s because they’re going to be introducing a new mechanic, borrowed from the likes of Infamous, allowing you to play as either the good or bad guy.

    I imagine the leafy suburb accountancy QTE minigames will be hugely fun.

  5. I predict that Rockstar will spoof themselves.
    I reckon the trailer will show you repeatedly porking hookers, paying them then getting out and beating them for your money back except with a different key landmark in the background as to let you know the setting. There will be a quick glimpse of main character reading a website or newspaper with an outrageous headline which is obviously a dig at those publications who forever rag on a GTA…oh yeah and it will show the first mission of the game which is to put the frighteners and possibly more onto a z-list celebrity gardener turned talk show host

  6. West Coast America. Like San Andreas with the 3 larger cities, all Up to date Las vegas, LA and San Fran with a down and out looking to make his fortune in sin city. The chap will be mexican. I also think the grand canyon and the desert will be involved again. LOL

    • I also think it will be released in 2012. within Q1 or Q2 ;)

  7. Its the bankers that are corrupting the country xD greedy b*******
    Always thought it’s Wall Street and making fake monies

  8. It will be slow tour around the city, much like the GTA IV trailer. It will run for about a minute and the main character will speak at the very end.

  9. Midgets. Lots and lots of midgets.

  10. I’m going to go for the “accurate” option, and say it’s set modern day, ala GTA IV, in a Vegas-esque American city. Emphasis will be on money, corruption, gang culture and greed. You’ll likely play as a mixed race character (male), possibly part hispanic. Big city, 3 seperate islands or sections of the city. Trailer will contain epic music, sweeping camera work, and end on a close of up the main character, firing a bullet towards the camera.

    Either that or it’ll be about a gang of monkeys, trying to reclaim their territory in the tree tops of the rain forest. With a guest appearance from a couple of angry cockatoos.

    I can’t decide which I’d prefer…

Comments are now closed for this post.