Meet the Reader: TonyCawley

Remember Tonyyeb? He’s not even really called Tony! TonyCawley is actually a Tony, though, so it’s time for us to meet the real Tony of TSA.

As per his request, I’ve hardly edited this, even leaving in the bit where he asks me not to edit it! That, and many a meandering tangent means it doesn’t half go on a bit! Enjoy.


Right, who are you, how old are you and where do you come from?

I’m Abu Razzak Hamza Abdilahi, I’m 32 and I’m in a training camp in the Pakistani mountains.

Wait, so you’re not Tony Cawley, 32, South Rampart Street, London? I think I must have got the wrong number!

Haha, South Rampart Street? Never heard of it. Really I am Tony Cawley, I am 32 and I live in Bexley, Kent. Really I’m from Manchester, but I work in London!

I’m not publishing my street on the Internet, but I’ll PM it to you later.

Yay! LAN party!

I was thinking of another kind of party… Hold on, this isn’t going right. I’m coming across as all gay! Tuffcub will get excited!

Party in your pants? I’m not falling for that one again. So, I’m sure most people won’t have to make a huge mental leap to figure it out, but where did your username come from?

Woo, my username, it’s an indication of how uncreative I am. I couldn’t think of anything good or funny, so my actual name had to do.

Yeah… I didn’t think that question would have a very good answer. Oh well! Tell us, Abu, how did you first get into gaming?

I thought my answer was great! You should be more creative with your questions…

Right, my dad bought us an acorn electron back in the day, I must’ve been about 6 as my memories are sparse. I do remember a game called Air/Sea Wars, though.

That sounds pretty cool. Was it a bit like Battleships?

I’d love to say more but I’ve abused my brain over the past 17 years so my childhood is rather hazy. This interview may not go too well, my memory really is that bad! I honestly can’t remember the gameplay at all, I’m a little better with my memories later in my childhood!

Well, lets go there right away, and figure out what consoles you might have had after the Acorn?

Well I had a Sega Master System, then a Mega Drive, a Mega CD, a Sega Saturn, a PS1, then PS2 and finally a PS3.

Nice clean divide right in the middle there. Did the Saturn not do it for you, and you just switched to the PS1 right away?

Well I had a Saturn in Manchester, then went to Uni, and got PS1 for there. The PS2 came out shortly after so I spent my student loan wisely and upgraded.

Try asking me what games on what system, I honestly have no idea!

I can remember games I’ve loved, just no idea what system they were on.

What games did you have on those systems?

You barsteward!

You set them up. I’ll knock ’em down!

Ok let’s play this game instead; I’ll name some games I remember, you tell me what system they were on.

This sounds like a good game. I’m ready.

Speedball 2.

I think that was Mega Drive.

Shining in the Darkness.

I’ll leave that one to the readers.

Echo the Dolphin.

Mega Drive.

Toejam and Earl.

Readers… GO!

Original Bomberman.

I’m drawing a blank there too…

Sega Rally Championship.

Sega Rally was Sega Saturn!

John Madden 96.

PS1, perhaps?

Euro 96.


That was fun, hey?

OK think I’ve exhausted my memory, except I know for sure I wasted my Uni days sat with mates playing LMA Manager on PS2, taking turns.

Wait… No Sonic? Kris will be saddened.

How could I forget Sonic? The very first was the best.

A knock to the head? Perhaps a small child attacked you with a frying pan.

Don’t know how to respond to that, there are clear reasons for my poor memory but I probably shouldn’t advertise them to the world…

I also remember when FMV first arrived, and Mega CD had a terrible game I was amazed by. It was called Nightstalker or something.

Frying pan attack it is! All I really know is that there was a Star Trek: The Next Generation FMV game. I imagine that was for Mega CD.

Yep, but it wasn’t a small child it was a little monkey. Hold on, that picture of Steven is bringing back memories now! It was him!

How very dare he! Did you never feel like trying out any of the consoles manufactured by companies that don’t begin with the letter ‘S’?

No, I have an obsession with things beginning with ‘S’.

Santa? Steven? Satan? That kind of thing?

On a Saturday night I go out in Skimpy clothes and Stilettos.


Indeed, and I’m out purely looking for Sex. But that’s another story.

Yes. I think it is…

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  1. hilarious:) Loved the banter from both of you, best Meet the Reader i’ve read.
    I faintly remember, being able to remember.

  2. I felt quite close to you this morning, Tony. Now that I’m more distant, I feel more secure again.

    • That’s because I was pretending to be your window cleaner, watching you in bed while you sleep! I got the right address this time.

      • I don’t have a window cleaner…
        Maybe you were just a bit closer with your guess than usual.

  3. Huh, when did this conversation occur? I don’t remember it!

    We both know you didn’t edit it because you couldn’t be bothered!

    • Tef did a good job not editing it, well funny.

  4. Very funny indeed, probably the best MTR so far! First sentence already had me in stitches. But your memory really isn’t the best though :P

  5. Hello T, gotta admit you brush up well, that yellow top really suits you :P
    Love the rants and opinions in the forums, keep it up dude ;)

    • Oi, are you looking at my Mrs? *thump*

  6. ah quality Sunday read tony, much more fulfilling than the Sunday times, and with more filth!

    • Sunday times is far too educational for a Sunday, actually impossible to read it all in a day. Actually far better to just chat with me instead ;-)

  7. Very funny that one. One of the best MTR yet. You definately need to work on your memory.

    • I generally remember what I have to, the rest gets lost in oblivion. You don’t use it you lose it.

  8. Hilarious, if at times very wrong! Now I know what makes a real Tony I realise that I have some way to go. Great read.

    MtR: possibly the best TSA feature in the world.

    • You’re just too sensible to be a tony. Become a little more ridiculous and you can be initiated.

      • Finally, somebody thinks I’m sensible!

  9. come one guys, the classic that was Toejam and earl was on the magadrive! many many happy memories of the twoplayer mode..god damned boogeyman… :)

    • If I’d have really really thought about it I would’ve remembered that. I was a little distracted at the time.

  10. Any fan of Toejam & Earl (even if he is as mad as a brush), is alright by me.

    • I’m glad I get your approval. I’m not really that mad, Teflon just does strange things to me, I come over all woozy in his presence.

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