The worlds worst kept secret since the last time Apple launched a new iPhone has sprung another leak, although this leak seems to be rather deliberate. At the end of a rather depressing earnings report Sharp’s president, Takashi Okuda, said that the company would start shipping screens destined for a new Apple iPhone in August.
Apple has one of its dog and pony shows scheduled for September 12th when sheeple will go mad because the next iPhone has a slightly bigger screen and Siri has had a sex change and become Sara. Sheeple are already queing outside the Internet in the hope that they will be the first to see the September 12th event when it is live streamed across the globe.
I spoke to Brian, a completely fictional Apple fan and the first person in the queue and asked him why he was sitting in a small tent just outside the World Wide Web a whole six weeks before the product is announced. “I’ve got to have one! iPhone 5! It’s like the baby Jesus, but betterer!” he gibbered.
I then asked Brian why he was queuing for a product that doesn’t even exist yet but all could manage was a wide eyed stare and a slight dribble.
I’m looking forward to seeing Brian on the news in a few months, you know the ‘…and finally’ section when a jovial reporter asks the massed ranks of sheeple how much fun they are having queuing on a damp pavement in Manchester and they all cheer and clap like lobotomised penguins.
So what do you think of my first attempt at doing a news and opinion piece? I think I’ve succeeded rather well, the news has been delivered (Â iPhone 5 screens shipping, announced next month, in the shops before Christmas) and so has my opinion (get a life*).
Let me know in the comments section!
Source: Reuters
*Top Tip: There is no app for this.
FRUIT0FDOOM
The news part – cool
The opinion part? Should have STFU in my OPINION. Whether it was Blackberry, Win Phone, Android or in this case iOS – the whole “sheeple” attitude is (thankfully just) a small sh*t stain on an otherwise professional site :-p
matthangzhou
I couldn’t agree more. I have to say Tuffcub for a supposed professional writer your comments have become increasingly childish, aggressive and above all, annoying.
I find a lot of the other writers on this site seek to not only inform, but challenge, evoke and articulately argue their viewpoints. They do not look down on others for having a different opinion nor do they attack a group for not sharing their views.
I fear if you were not a writer on this site then you would have been banned a long time ago for “trolling”.
Smallville2106
Completely agree. The worst article I have read on here in a while.
Sympozium
…but its funny?
Alex C
Last time I tried opinion it was a disaster. Sheeple is a terrible word – there’s nothing wrong with being excited about tech, especially when it’s the best tech in the world.
But hey, whatever.
RudeAwakening
What the hell is Sheeple? Never heard of this.
Amphlett
Ah, a new screen. I bet it’s shiny!
I wonder why it’s not being made by Samsung…
Tuffcub
I think they are making them as well, there are three suppliers.
bunimomike
Fascinating that the retina display in current models is made by Samsung but doesn’t feature in their own hardware. Weird world, eh?
Mike
Am I reading Cult of Android or something?
bunimomike
I think it’s wonderful that we have great Android mobile phones to continually push the likes of Apple to strive for more. Apple’s GUI is still world-class and their engineering design, out of this world. However, I’m curious as hell to see what USP (Unique Selling Point) they’re going to angle towards us this time around as the glut of smart phones available to us already do pretty much everything we could ever hope for (and more).
Sheeple – a pretty crap word and lumps someone like me in with the rest, I feel, but I also loathe the Apple fans who are truly blind to things and will simply sit there and take it no matter what the device looks like.
Bilbo_bobbins
As much as I like your articles Tuffcub, I think this one is a bit much. Calling people sheeple just because they are excited for something is a bit much. I do agree some are a little silly comes to it, but you’re kind of slagging a lot of people off here, even if you didn’t mean it.
Anyway, Applemaniacs that are blind to better technology I do hate, I’d like to called them “dicks”
DJ Judas
While the article is certainly inflammatory, if the subject matter were targeting a scaremongering journalist hell bent on proving that games are the root of all evil it would have been relatively well received written in the same style here, as the audience pretty much all fall on the same side of the fence on that one. But regarding the phone wars it was always going to seem petulant.
Then again there’s little point in expressing an opinion if the entire audience agrees with you.
Lymmusic
The problem with this article is that it is designed purely to cause mischief. A rare blip for the sixth axis. Apple have done a great job of designing and marketing desirable products that are sought after by the mass market, are technically impressive, and are feature rich. There are of course competitors, with great products that may even offer more, or are more sensibly priced, or are well marketed, but this isnt something that most people care about. Apple make it easy for people to decide on a product, instead of over complicating matters with overly technical products, or fragmented standards.
Im afraid most people simply dont care about not being able to install the particular codec your anal fisting volume 3 dvd rip on their tablet without jailbraking it…
ii3illy
“anal fisting volume 3 dvd rip”
Do you know Tuffcub?
Tuffcub
“The problem with this article is that it is designed purely to cause mischief.”
Ah at last, someone gets it.
Sex change Siri, CompletelyFictionalBrian and “It’s like the baby Jesus”.. really? :)
And “Get a life”? I’m not quite that rude.
Just to be clear to any sheeple reading, anything other than the first paragraph should be viewed with tongue firmly in cheek.
Awayze
The lawsuit between Apple and Samsung? Apple are probably sick of Samsuck stealing their technology and Japanese technology is a million times better than Korean tech!
“Sheeple”, really? Yet I get slated for using M$. Fine, if Apple followers are idiots and sheep, then where was Android before 2007? This article is defiantly intended to piss Apple fans off.
Tuffcub
No just Alex :)
Awayze
Lol oh…….
KeRaSh
Have you seen the Samsung design studies that predate the release of the original iPhone? I guess you were too busy trying to come up with a way to bash the company name of Samsung in a way that you thing was clever.
hol
What?? No get a life app?? My life is over :(
Seriously though, I will be getting a iPhone 5 eventually to replace the 4, who makes the screen is largely irrelevant really plus anyone remotely interested in new tech will be aware that the 5 isn’t that far away.