News Snatch: Boob Cupping, Global Thermonuclear War And I Love Rocks!

Mousepad not available in Saudi Arabia.

Today’s Snatch features some gelatinous boobies, some global gender politics and a geology-based movie quote. We’ll get to all that in just a moment, along with beta news and a re-announcement of something from last year. But first: some campaigning on behalf of videogame music…

Classic FM are looking for new pieces to submit to their Hall of Fame, why not vote in Killzone 2, Final Fantasy XII and Super Mario Bros? Simply click here and type in the game name, you need to pick three titles before you can submit your vote.


BOOBS!Tecmo Koei have joined Instagram and one of the first pictures they posted is the one on the right. Boobies! Gaming boobies!! Everyone become outraged!!! But… but… there is a lady holding them and she seems to quite happy to cradle the fulsome funbags, what do we do?!? Do we get outraged due to Boobies or do we shout “Right on sister!” and celebrate equality? No, wait, people might think that we are cheering for some girl-on-girl action instead. Oh my, this being outraged / sexism in gaming / boobies thing has become horribly difficult.


In September last year 505 Games announced that formerly PC-exclusive game Terraria would be coming to Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network and we covered the story back then.

They announced the same thing again today thus catching out certain websites who are not meant to regurgitate press releases, I expect they too busy taking pictures of their nice homes to spot their obvious faux pas.


Now over to that bastion of quality journalism, Fox News, who report that Pakistan has banned Call of Duty and Medal of Honor “for showing country as terrorist haven.” A memo sent to shopkeepers reads “The games (“Medal of Honor: Warfighter” and “Call of Duty: Black Ops II”) have been developed against Pakistan, and the association has completely banned their sale. Shopkeepers are warned and will be responsible for the consequences if found purchasing or selling these games.”

A nameless Pakistani security official told Fox News that these games are part of psychological warfare. “These games are an effort to malign the minds of youth against Pakistan.”

I am now thoroughly confused because at the moment a fair portion of the United States wants Call Of Duty banned because it corrupts the minds of the youth of the USA. Who is correct? There’s only one way to find out! Global Thermonuclear War!

No, sorry, I watched War Games last night, I mean Fight! A death match, USA vs Pakistan, the team that has the most mentally disturbed youths at the end wins!


Staying with foreign news, Square Enix are to localise Tomb Raider for the Arabic market, a first for the company, Lara will be voiced by Nadine Njeim, former Miss Lebanon 2007 and actress. Quite how scantily clad Lara will be accepted in Saudi Arabia is anyone’s guess as women in the country are required to wear wear an abaya (a loose-fitting, full-length black cloak covering the entire body), hide their hair and are banned from driving. Still, at least there are sections in which Lara gets threatened and beaten, I bet they will go down well.

Lil bit o’ politics there. 


Crysis 3 is to get a multiplayer beta on PC, PS3 and Xbox 360. Yes, all three, maybe it is an actual beta and not just an excuse for extra publicity. It will be available from January 29th for two weeks and will consist of two game modes: Hunter and Crash Site.


And Finally… I like rocks! I love rocks! Now it’s clear you two don’t give a shit about rocks. But what you do seem to care about is gigantic dead bodies, and I don’t really have anything to contribute in the gigantic dead body arena! I’m gonna go back to the ship, if you don’t mind.

With that in mind, a geologist has asked the question we have all been pondering, “What kinds of rocks can you find in Skyrim?” He has discovered that the way the land in the game has been modelled is surprisingly consistent with how it could have formed if it were a real place. If you like rocks, click here to read his detailed analysis.

16 Comments

  1. Just as shameless, with the boobies thing. Just because it’s a woman holding them doesn’t change that it’s trying to manipulate teenagers’, uh… you know.

    • I am not a teenager, but I wouldn’t mind beating someone in order to be able to rest my wrist on Hitomis fun bags.

  2. “Still, at least there are sections in which Lara gets threatened and beaten, I bet they will go down well.”
    Wasn’t quite expecting that line! Coffee just met my monitor, lol.

    • Yeah, very clever line. I actually laughed! :D

  3. Isn’t that ironic…..
    A pair of boobs that are meant to relax your wrist whilst browsing the Internet.

    • I’m assuming it’s easy to wipe clean or machine-wash friendly.

    • It looks like someone stuck a ballsack to a mouse mat and painted a woman over it – have fun guys! :P

  4. well it’s a good job Lara doesn’t get raped in the new game if they’re hoping to sell it in the arabic market, they take a dim view of sex outside of marriage there, and they couldn’t have the heroine of the game doing something illegal now could they? o_O

    Terraria, really looking forward to that one.
    the controls were a concern, how they’d translate the pc mouse and keyboard controls to a console pad.
    ironically it looks like the fully 3d Minecraft is easier to adapt than the 2d Terraria.

    they have learned one lesson from the Minecraft console release, and that’s telling people split screen is only for hd displays, before they sell it.

    i’d quite like that mouse mat, be nice to have something to rest my wrist on while using the mouse.
    of course i could get a gel wrist rest from my local pound shop, but then it wouldn’t look like a pair of breasts. ^_^

  5. That thing on the geology of Skyrim is actually pretty cool.

  6. I’ll do more then rest my wrist on that mousepad(it is a mouse pad right?) ;) Did i just say that out loud? And our image of horny 13 year olds is yet again reinforced. :-/

    FF12 and K2? Seems a bit odd. If it’s for any game of any generation, then why not FF7,MGS3,Devil May Cry,FF9 etc.. Unless you were just using them as an example.

    • I tried Rayman Origins but it wasn’t listed… :(

      • Oh great, it’s one of those vote for anygame but what we really mean is vote for any game on our list that we have not told you about. :(

  7. Watched War Games over Xmas. Kerwality film

  8. Crysis 3 looks frikking fantastic, so looking forward to that.

  9. There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

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