EA Celebrate Crysis 3 And Sexism With Near Naked Woman

Tits out for Crysis 3“Ashley Roberts suits up in full bodypaint to become lead character Prophet for the launch of new video game Crysis 3 tweets the EA PR team.

Yes, really.


After months of discussion about sexism within video games, and the use of near naked ‘booth babes’ with no discernible links to the products they are selling, the EA PR team has decided that painting the third most popular ex-Pussycat Doll to promote a sci-fi shooter is an excellent idea.

@EA_UK_PR Can I ask why you have painted a naked woman when the character in the game is male? Is there any reason other than ‘nice tits’?” I asked, only to be met with a stony wall of silence.

I tried again, “@EA_UK_PR Come EA, prove the gaming industry is not populated by sexist bastards and find a celebrity male to paint” but once more the PR team kept their hands well away from the keyboards and did not rise to the challenge.

I suspect they were busy doing other activities with their hands and something else was rising in the EA PR department, eh lads? Phwooar! Look at the Nanosuit on that!

Posting a picture of one of the judges from Dancing on Ice wearing just a thin veil of bodypoint has absolutely nothing to do Crysis 3.  Nothing. The character of Prophet is a middle aged, overly muscular black man, these are tits for the sake of tits.

In the days when even long-time boob-peddlar, Rupert Murdoch, is considering ending page 3 in The Sun and the many discussions regarding sexism and the portrayal of women in gaming I am gobsmacked EA think slapping some paint on a fading pop-muppet’s knockers is a good idea.

bionic bristols!

It might even be considered just a bit of consenting-adult fun if they weren’t so obviously only using a slim, purportedly attractive woman. Why not get the head of the dev team in nanosuit body paint? Perhaps a member of One Direction or someone from a sports team… anything that wasn’t just so explicitly about getting sad pubescent boys to dribble down their chins (and elsewhere). It’s not only lecherous and tiresome, it’s really unimaginative and lazy. Still, nice bangers, eh lads? EH?!



  1. Meh, I liked it.

    Guess that means I’m a sexist pig stuck in the dark ages….

    Whatever, thanks for the boobs EA!

    • Nothing wrong with liking naked failed popstars.

      Getting them to promote macho FPS shooters on the other hand..

  2. “Speed, engaged” .. oh jesus stop no that’s too fast you’ll set fire to it!

  3. I’d like to color her with my finger paint… >_>

  4. She’s got the uniform, just needs a helmet now.
    A big, throbbing helmet ;

    • hahahahahaha. Something tells me that pink and dark grey clash though ;)

      • Yes, but when it’s “upto the makers nameplate” so to speak, you can’t see the pink;p

      • hahaha good point :P

  5. As Top Gear put it; I’m having a crysis!

  6. As long as average Joe likes female nudity, and publishers want to sell to average Joe…… Publishers will use female nudity to sell to average Joe.

    This isn’t for us, who are close to the industry, its specifically for those that aren’t. As much as it’s abhorrent, unfortunately I can’t blame EA for using this method of generating awareness of the game with average Joe. The issue is whether or not it makes him buy the game.

    • I thought it was very fitting really, the natural female body adorned with the suit from the game, painted on so as to still allow the natural beauty of the body to be observed under the suit. And then you look at the game, which does a remarkable job of recreating nature in the environments it renders..
      plus… boobs! ;)

  7. @Tuffcub


    I think your ‘analysis’ of EA’s motives is completely misplaced in this case. You really read way too much between the lines (so to speak). This is just body painting, and Roberts is not the only person who agreed to work on this campaign. But maybe you also have something to say about Nianga’s choice?

    • Excellent! Now explain why they tweeted the naked lady

    • the only thing that ruined that that suit were his nipples.
      just spoils the effect somewhat.
      shame he couldn’t wear a bra like Ashley Roberts did, at least it looks like she was wearing one in the larger pics i’ve seen, that’d solve that problem.

  8. Maximum penetration.

  9. Crysis 3, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.

    Sorry, but thats a great bit of advertising as I’ll probably go and buy this at the weekend but before I wasn’t remotely interested.

  10. if the game actually featured a women in the nanosuit, this would make sense, but it’s a bloke.
    not that this doesn’t make sense, it makes sense because, well, SEX!!!

    people still say sex has nothing to do with gaming? o_O

    it wouldn’t be so annoying if you could actually play as a woman, it’s not like the lead character has a long backstory that could only apply to a man.
    you couldn’t turn Nico into a woman, not the way the character is written, but prophet doesn’t have that history does he?
    he was just one of the squad that got attacked and he was lucky enough to survive, that seems to be the extent of his backstory.
    that could just as easily be a women in that suit, i assume the nanomachines can tighten the suit up in certain areas, and maybe let it out in others. ^_^

    it comes from the old, “women can’t be soldiers” thing, an idea that is becoming increasingly outdated around the world.
    so in these near future scenarios there is every likelihood the soldier could be a woman.
    if Noble 6 could be a women, so could prophet.

    don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool image, and she is, very, attractive, but it’s the idea that a women is ok for the marketing, if she’s attractive, but not an option for the lead in the game that bother me the most.

    now i know, that’s one area where ea have not been the worst offender, take the Bioware rpgs, Kingdoms of Amalur, and then there’s Mirror’s Edge, a game where the lead was specifically written as a women, and not for the sex appeal.
    but it still seems to be a prevalent attitude in the industry.

    why can’t the young girl from the village go on a quest to rescue the prince, or princess, from the tower?

    have Crytek ever made a game with a female lead?

    forgive the rant, i just got up and i’m still a little cranky, don’t like coffee so that’s no help, takes a while for that to pass, usually, at about ten… PM. ^_^

    • I’m not big on coffee either but had no choice as the receptionist is on holiday so we’re out of milk, and tea with no milk is absurd. In fact you have a point with the quest thing and I should send her on a quest to Tesco’s for milk… Holiday or no holiday she should get her priorities straight. Stupid woman!
      Anyway, back to the point… I hate sexism! Its disgusting, they should be ashamed with themselves ;)

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