EA Celebrate Crysis 3 And Sexism With Near Naked Woman

Tits out for Crysis 3“Ashley Roberts suits up in full bodypaint to become lead character Prophet for the launch of new video game Crysis 3 tweets the EA PR team.

Yes, really.

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After months of discussion about sexism within video games, and the use of near naked ‘booth babes’ with no discernible links to the products they are selling, the EA PR team has decided that painting the third most popular ex-Pussycat Doll to promote a sci-fi shooter is an excellent idea.

@EA_UK_PR Can I ask why you have painted a naked woman when the character in the game is male? Is there any reason other than ‘nice tits’?” I asked, only to be met with a stony wall of silence.

I tried again, “@EA_UK_PR Come EA, prove the gaming industry is not populated by sexist bastards and find a celebrity male to paint” but once more the PR team kept their hands well away from the keyboards and did not rise to the challenge.

I suspect they were busy doing other activities with their hands and something else was rising in the EA PR department, eh lads? Phwooar! Look at the Nanosuit on that!

Posting a picture of one of the judges from Dancing on Ice wearing just a thin veil of bodypoint has absolutely nothing to do Crysis 3.  Nothing. The character of Prophet is a middle aged, overly muscular black man, these are tits for the sake of tits.

In the days when even long-time boob-peddlar, Rupert Murdoch, is considering ending page 3 in The Sun and the many discussions regarding sexism and the portrayal of women in gaming I am gobsmacked EA think slapping some paint on a fading pop-muppet’s knockers is a good idea.

bionic bristols!

It might even be considered just a bit of consenting-adult fun if they weren’t so obviously only using a slim, purportedly attractive woman. Why not get the head of the dev team in nanosuit body paint? Perhaps a member of One Direction or someone from a sports team… anything that wasn’t just so explicitly about getting sad pubescent boys to dribble down their chins (and elsewhere). It’s not only lecherous and tiresome, it’s really unimaginative and lazy. Still, nice bangers, eh lads? EH?!

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49 Comments

  1. “Why not get the head of the dev team in nanosuit body paint? Perhaps a member of One Direction or someone from a sports team?”

    One word: Demographics.
    Hold a poll on N4G. Would you rather see a naked lady in body paint or naked Harry Styles in body paint?
    Then carry out the same poll but in Glitter magazine.

    I’m not justifying it. It’s just the way of the world. Look at Topgear. Should they stop racing Ferraris and review sensible hatchbacks? No. they know their demographic.

    While we’re not all immature, horny 12-20 year old boys/men they do comprise a high percentage of our demographic.

    • don’t forget lesbians in their 30s. ^_^

      i know i’d rather see Ashley Roberts in nothing but underwear and body paint than any member of 1d.
      but still, the marketing doesn’t really fit in with the product.
      like TC said, this is a pretty macho fps.

      and those heels look totally impractical for combat.

  2. This article came across as a long-winded bitch about Ashley Roberts more than any reasonable debate about the use of titillation in the marketing industry. In one page you’ve said “Third most popular ex-Pussycat Doll” “Failed popstar” and “Pop-muppet”. Regardless of your thoughts on pop stars (I too hate most of them but she comes across as perfectly nice and well-rounded (Pardon the pun) when you actually hear her speak) you shouldn’t fill out an article like this with irrelevant personal criticisms, especially in an article debating relevance.

    Sex sells, in the last paragraph you seem to suggest it would be better to have a member of One Direction or someone from a sports team. How would that be any more relevant to the game? It should just create the same issue but for women/homosexual men but you don’t seem to see it that way.

    • well a bloke would be more indicative of what’s in the actual game.

      • Perhaps but the point is the article didn’t just say “A bloke” it said a singer (Using that term loosely) or a sports star which would both in my opinion be equally irrelevant in terms of Crysis 3.

  3. Please do yourself a favour and take 5 seconds to image search ‘Yannick Nyanga Crysis 3’ and you will see that all you are doing here is falsely trying to accuse EA of feminism when for once, I believe they are being more equal than you give them credit for.

    Perhaps I could be wrong but once you see there are two versions of this body paint promotion, you could say perhaps Ashley is representative of the female gamers who ‘feel’ as if they are Prophet, hence why she is painted as prophet but not actually wearing a nanosuit. The same goes for Yannick with male gamers.

    That said, I could be wrong but I would hope you amend this article.

  4. “It might even be considered just a bit of consenting-adult fun if they weren’t so obviously only using a slim, purportedly attractive woman. Why not get the head of the dev team in nanosuit body paint? Perhaps a member of One Direction or someone from a sports team… anything that wasn’t just so explicitly about getting sad pubescent boys to dribble down their chins (and elsewhere). It’s not only lecherous and tiresome, it’s really unimaginative and lazy. Still, nice bangers, eh lads? EH?!”

    http://img1.lesnumeriques.com/news/28/28210/Crysis-3_Body-Painting_Yannick-Nyanga_01.jpg

    durr huurrr durr durrrrrr hurr

  5. It might even be considered just a bit of consenting-adult fun if they weren’t so obviously only using a slim, purportedly attractive man. Why not get the head of the dev team in nanosuit body paint? Perhaps a member of “The PussyCat Dolls” or someone from a sports team… anything that wasn’t just so explicitly about getting sad pubescent girls to dribble down their chins (and elsewhere). It’s not only lecherous and tiresome, it’s really unimaginative and lazy. Still, nice pectorials, eh gals? EH?!
    http://i.imgur.com/Xgt5bE0.jpg

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