Hold onto your hats, it’s time to enter the rather odd part of the world in which Steven lives once more. It’s either something to do with April Fools’ Day or Easter, but whatever the excuse I decided to let him back on.
You can thank me later.
Skybeard and Sackman decided to flee the towers due to it being the Easter period, and Lord Hatson Hattingburg the 1st tends to make life miserable for the community team at Easter. So I’ve bravely volunteered to do the round-up and make sure Adam doesn’t choke on chocolate.
The Hat informed us of the final week of the TSA BLOPS 2 League features. No, I’m not including a fish-based pun this week. Shame on you if you thought I would do one. Shame on you!
We don’t have any other competitions at the moment, unless you count the Community Team winding up Peter by nicking his cups of tea and seeing how long it takes for him to notice. Currently, I hold the record for the longest time.
Times to see what meats you lot have planned. I’m partial to the bacon sandwich myself. Oh, and I suppose I had better do the Meets section as well.
R1MJAW is hosting two Tomb Raider meets, one on Monday and the other on Wednesday. TSA is not responsible if you crash your ship whilst playing. Seriously, why are you playing a game when you should be focusing on piloting your ship?
Manorhowze hosts the weekly Gran Turismo 5 meet on Monday, and there is the weekly Battlefield meet on Friday. It’s in Bad Company 1 this time and it’s scheduled to commence at 1900 hours on Friday.
To celebrate his 3rd year here at TSA towers, Blair reviewed BioShock Infinite. [It’s not ‘3’, Steven. It’s just not… – Tef [Yeah, it’s really not – Blair]]Â He tried to break our scoring system by dividing it by zero in an attempt to give it an Infinite score. Sadly, he was forced to give it a mere 10/10 and write a letter saying ‘thank you’ to Elizabeth.
Jim donned his N7 Armour and showed us what the very last DLC for Mass Effect 3 was like. He then proceed to defy Ireland’s angriest man by giving us a hands on with Defiance. I’m told he now has to spend a week in Tuffcub’s cave.Â
Origami Killer wondered if violence in video games make you more violent yourself, whilst Kris thinks that protesting on your own doesn’t work.
As usual, Skybeard did the Community Chronicle. On Monday, we discovered what you lot thought of very angry Spartan simulator or God Of War as it’s known to most, in this week’s WeView Verdict. Kratos may have an anger problem; perhaps he should see a therapist or drink tea. Tea is cheaper so he should do that. Turns out Blair popped his reviewing cork with BioShock 2, all those years ago, and Mr. Bubbles decided to let us give our opinions on BioShock 2 in WeView this week. If you didn’t get the reference, you are no BioShock fan and I must kill you.
And then there is the weekly What We Played article and the latest episode of the Oscar Mike Media Podcast. There won’t be an episode next week due to many reasons. All of them involve Step Up films and Kris.
This is the part where Me, Gazzagb and Tef dread doing every week. The forums bit. Some say that if you enter General Chat, you lose something very personal and that even Peter is scared to venture into there. All I know is that I can’t keep delaying it so let’s get this over with. Where did I place that shotgun?
- An-Dz compares the 3DS and it’s larger cousin. Pretty sure the 3DS XL needs to go onto a diet.
- The Avenger asks if PS+ is a doomsday bucket for PS3 games. It’s not, as I will unleash doomsday upon you all. Did I just say that out loud?
- Airen or Symp, or whatever he calls himself at the time of this being published, posted a thread about erm… I’m not obliged to tell you the contents of the thread so you’ll have to find out for yourself.
- Tatitical20 unlocked the Fruit Of Your Loins trophy, and showed us some pictures of that achievement.
And that’s all folks.
On behalf of the TSA staff, have a happy Easter. I’m off to hide, as Adam is about to become a right miserable git for the next few days, and I refuse to deal with him again. I hate this time of year. Every year he…
– Huh, that’s odd. The round up ended there. Thanks Steven!
Motalla
Well sine Steven, funky stuff
Origami Killer
Cheers for the mention Steven, and your round ups never fail to amuse me. Your imagination must be flooded with crazy ideas!
The Lone Steven
I have an imagination? I thought i sold that for jellybabies to feed my jellybaby addiction. I mean, i sold it for Skyrim or something like that. *snorts an entire pack of them*
a inferior race
Skybeard is a brilliant name for teflon.
bunimomike
It actually is. :-)
The Lone Steven
I literally came up with that without any effort. :O I will sue anyone that uses it without my permission or just brutally murder them if they don’t give me 10 packs of biscuits or jaffa cakes or a pack of PG tips or Yorkshire tea every time they use it.
bunimomike
If I look through a particular window. Etched and clouded from the daily attacks; murky brown but still able to see through. There’s a lonely figure in there scratching himself profusely whilst having a full blown conversation with his own, heavily medicated self. His gaze caught by the framed picture on the wall of happier times. His one sole possession, untarnished from the fire several years back. The entire family posing happily on a peaceful Autumn day with Wales’ highest mountain, Snowdon, beautiful as ever and dominating the background. The crazed individual slumps down in front of it and hits the cereal box painted black as he hums a familiar, short jingle to himself.
Reaching for a dark looking stress toy, it all becomes apparent. The framed photo a “TV”; the once-filled-with-Shreddies box a “PlayStation 3”; the stress toy his “controller”.
His eyes fix firmly on his now-dead kin as he salivates and focuses on conquering Snowdon again.
As I stroll away from the asylum I hear one word. “Skyriiiiim!!!” Bellowed out for all to hear.
This, Steven. This is how I picture you each and every day.
Cool round-up, too. :-)
teflon
Comment of the Century.
bunimomike
Tapping that, half asleep on the iPhone, was quite the task! :-)
Origami Killer
Ha this is hilarious!
freezebug2
LOL, never thought it was quite that bad at Arkham :P
Great round up Steven, oh! and Jezza should heed your Top Gear style stig intro’s :P
blackredyellow
Excellent!!
MadJunkBoy
awesomely well written! could see it all infront of me!
*all three thumbs up!*
blackredyellow
Great round up. Steven, you deserve a hob nob!
The Lone Steven
*grabs the hob nob and retreats to the corner in the rafters then scoffs it down within seconds*
The Lone Steven
Well, this turned out to be a bit shit. :p I see that Skybeard cut out my Adam having sex with a chocolate Val Kilmer statue gag. Who wants to see the unedited, unrated and generally unreadable bullshit version?
gazzagb
I’m hardly surprised Tef cut that out!