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Opinion

TSA's Top Eight Video Game Puddles

Wet Wet Wet

Water, the bringer of life and one of the most criminally underrated features in video games. We’re not talking about babbling streams of magnificent waterfalls though, oh no, we love puddles and so does the internet judging by a certain Twitter furore going on.

To help out, we’ve carefully analysed and critiqued the puddles in thousands of video games over the last 24 hours and now present the top eight small pools of water for your entertainment, education, and pleasure.

Before we begin, we’d like to give a special mention to games that missed a spot in our chart, including Puddle, which doesn’t actually have puddles in, and Heavy Rain, which missed out as it rarely stops raining in the game so it has a watery sheen rather than distinct puddles.


8: Blur

One of the best games on last gen, Blur features some particularly splashy pools on the course set on Brighton beach. Bonus points go to the developers for choosing sea, rather than rain water. Also, every listicle like this should include Blur, because it’s bloody awesome but no one bought it. You should all be ashamed and Activision need to remaster it right now. Please.

7: Splatoon 2

A controversially decision with many of our judging panel calling foul play as the puddles in Splatoon 2 are not made of water. However, others were entranced by the glossy sheen and bright colours of the puddles in the game and argued it should be included.

6: Jurassic World Evolution

CGI dinosaurs are so 1993, we’re all about the cgi puddles in the new Jurassic World Evolution game. These charming, delicate pools of fresh rainwater enchanted our judging panel, evoking happy memories of our childhoods and being chased through kitchens and tropical deluges by velociraptors.

5: Forza 7 and Driveclub

We couldn’t pick our favourite between these two champions of pooling water, so we’ve cheated and chosen both. Check out the plashets in both of the games in this deliriously exciting video!

4: God of War

The second game to feature saline puddles, God of War has foreboding, ominous puddles. Puddles you wouldn’t want to meet a dark alley. Puddles that will steal you wallet from the bedside table. Puddles that will pretend to be your best friend but then sleep with your wife when your back is turned. Down with these sort of puddles.

3: Infamous Second Son

Phwoooar! Look at those ripples! Some may be impressed with Sucker Punch Productions’ spectacular lighting effects, but not us, we’re all about the glossy, rippled puddling in the game. Om nom nom!

2: Grand Theft Auto V

Both the console and PC version of the game feature puddles that form when it rains and dissipate when things dry up, just like real life! The puddles are also super reflective on a high end PC, but you’d expect nothing less from Rockstar.

1: The Pools Of Salty Tears Created By Sad Gamers Who Are Complaining About Spider-Man’s Altered Puddles And Lighting Tweaks

An overwhelming winner, our judging panel unanimously chose the huge damp patches that surround all the gamers who are complaining that the puddles in Spider-Man have changed. These delicious salty pools scored highly in all categories including the ‘I don’t know how video game development works’ and ‘I have proof, compare these dodgy compressed screen shots against this crisp 4K video’ categories. It also won a special commendation in the ‘Look, I’m going to draw big red circles around the things that have changed’ bonus round. Congratulations!

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5 Comments
  1. double-o-dave
    Member
    Since: Nov 2008

    I might have to fire up Driveclub when I get home. Forgot how great those puddles look – That has to be the best looking game this generation.

    Comment posted on 31/08/2018 at 14:23.
    • Jag
      Member
      Since: Feb 2009

      I booted it up recently and was blown away by how good it still looks. Plays like a dream too.

      Comment posted on 31/08/2018 at 18:22.
  2. Tony Cawley
    Pint! Pint!
    Since: Feb 2009

    Haha, great stuff. I can’t complain about number one, that seems pretty reasonable to me, sadly though you’ve missed one of the greatest puddles of all time. In Destiny (original) there was a big puddle in the tower and I spent many a happy moment splashing about in that whilst waiting for certain individuals (Tuffcub) to stop messing about and ready up.

    Comment posted on 31/08/2018 at 14:36.
  3. Jag
    Member
    Since: Feb 2009

    The perfect response to puddlegate, thank you!

    Comment posted on 31/08/2018 at 18:23.
  4. coruscant
    Member
    Since: Oct 2010

    GTA V was the first time I’ve noticed puddles in a game. I think it was genuinely one of the only things that made me think for the first time how far graphics have advanced from PS3 to PS4.

    Comment posted on 31/08/2018 at 21:08.