Fat Princess Gets The Finger

Some bloggers are cleverer than everyone, so much so that you can’t always work out what they’re trying to say.  Sure, the image above suggests this particular writer isn’t all that keen on Sony’s new Fat Princess game, but her verbose rambling isn’t that easy to decifer.

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So we’ll run through the blog and try to work it out.  Here goes.

“My friend Erica emailed me about the hottt new PlayStation game you’ve got in production, Fat Princess. It looks and sounds just adorable—”

One point in favour.

“but the only thing I can’t figure out is why anyone would want to rescue a fat princess in the first place, since everyone knows that fat girls are unlovable human garbage at whom any sensible bloke would sooner hurl invective than cast a longing glance.”

Still in favour, we think.  Two points.

“I sure hope there’s a clever dénouement like the Fat Princess magically becoming thin once she’s rescued! ‘Cuz that would rock, yo!”

Ah, now we’re getting all Emo.  Still, appears the game still rocks, yo.  Three points.

“Anyway, congrats on your awesome new game, Sony. I’m positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes. It’s not often I have the opportunity to congratulate a cutting-edge tech company on such splendiferous retrofuck jackholery. Way to go! The Fat Princess of Shakes Manor salutes you.”

Thrilled.  Great use of italics there for emphasis, sister.  Sounds like it’s 4-0 in favour of liking the game, we’ll get in touch with SCEE and let them know they have your approval.  But then there’s the picture, with protuding middle finger, is that worth 4 negative points?  We don’t know.

Fortunately there seems to be ample opportunity for Photoshops to lighten the mood, this GAF thread is full of them. And then there’s the comments, 106 at the time of writing, and we can’t be bothered totting up all the angst-ridden subjective nonsense.  Still, loads of hits for your site, there.  We’ll see you online when the game comes out.

Above image by jarosh.

Cake!

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