My Top Ten: E3 2009 Improvements

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E3 was a brilliant show, we loved every minute of it. Never ones to miss an opportunity for improvement though, we’ve thought up some ways that E3 2009 could have been even better.

  • If Sony’s entire press conference had been presented by Jason Donovan in a foam Buzz suit.
  • Picture the scene: Peter Molyneux talks a bit about Project Natal, introduces Lionhead’s video and when the woman walks into the room and switches the Xbox on Milo screams “Please Mr. Molyneux, please not again!”
  • If Microsoft had announced that Alan Wake had changed direction and would now be a Flight Simulator, due for release in time for Christmas 2017.
  • If Nintendo announced that they were making a traditional controller for the Wii, stating that their research shows motion-controllers are old news.
  • If Zipper Interactive had announced that the top 1% of players on MAG each week would be automatically enlisted in the US Army and sent to Afghanistan.
  • If Naughty Dog had announced that Uncharted 2 would ship with a free beta code for multiplayer Peggle on the PSN.
  • Gran Turismo PSP was premiered using two PS3 machines hooked up to two 52-inch plasma screens as wing mirrors.
  • Ubisoft had announced that they want to release Splinter Cell: Conviction and Assasin’s Creed 2 before Christmas but they might be slightly delayed because they’re going to fix the glitches in the games they already sold us first.
  • If Hideo Kojima had walked on stage at the Microsoft press conference and refuse to utter a word until they put a countdown on the big screen.
  • If Sony’s new wand controller had been an actual wand. Jack Tretton takes to the stage midway through the Nintendo conference and screams “Expeliarmus!” at Cammie Dunaway.

Can you think of a way that E3 2009 could have been better?

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