Where Are They Now: Englebert the Electric Orb

flashback

Flashback; if you’ve never played it, you are missing a real gaming event. Sci-Fi, Adventure, Mystery, Action and Hover Trains; Flashback had it all. It also contained Englebert the Electric Orb. Whilst the hero, Conrad, ventured around vast levels in an attempt to regain his memories, Englebert hovered about in an attempt to kill Conrad. The Electric Orb was a skilful enemy which was hard to escape. Once it had you in its sights it would follow you with gritty determination until either it was destroyed, or Conrad was on the floor convulsing.

But where is Englebert now? Well, thanks to the fact that he was a machine, he was devoid of emotion and therefore felt no pressure from the fame and in turn couldn’t be tempted by life’s vices. Instead, Englebert did whatever he was programmed to do. In 1997, 5 years after Flashback, he was purchased by a paparazzi photographer who utilised the fact that he needed no food, water or sleep. Englebert, with amazing precision and expertise, started snapping the most intimate details of so-called ‘A-List’ celebrities.

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But in 2001, Englebert and his mechanical family members were outlawed and crushed for scrap metal. After a particularly invasive picture taking session, Englebert looked for something to charge himself up with.

Upon finding a satellite dish on the side of a house, he fused it with electricity and pictures of politicians with pineapples, singers with rent-boys and a rather enlightening photo involving Bono forcing Ethiopian children into labour at his 152 bedroom palace, were beamed into every home around the world. The level of damage caused by these pictures meant that a repeat incident couldn’t be afforded. He was crushed in September 2001 and aided the manufacture of early iMacs.

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