What If: Aliens Exist

Rumours are spreading across the internet on fairly reputable sites (not heatworld.com) that President Obama is going to make an official statement declaring that extra terrestrials exist. Let us assume for one minute that this will happen….

ALIENS EXIST!! F*CKING HELL!!!!

Normally this would be a job for Raen and Gastos but as they are still recovering from bite wounds from their previous jaunt through time, I have stolen the TSA Time Microwave and installed it in a cardbox box to create the TSA Tardis! Let us use it to travel to the near future of December 2010…

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*Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Effect*

Hello! It’s December 2010, glad you can join us. You’ve just missed Christmas dinner with my friend Zarg. I’ve been emailing Zarg for about 6 months now using the inter-space gateway installed by the Pantaloonians in the upper Earth atmosphere. I thought it was time Zarg and I met face to face so I invited him to join my family for our traditional Christmas dinner.

Things are going well although trying to explain Mince pies (no mince), Reindeer that can fly (they don’t) and Santa (fat bloke who manages to get down very narrow chimneys) to an alien is proving difficult. Pantaloonians only have one day of religious celebration, the 56th of Snorg, during which they dance, drink and worship their deity, the Almighty Hoff.

I suggested to Zarg we fire up the PS3 for a bit of post dinner gaming. We started with Dead Space 2 which I was enjoying but Zarg was rather quiet. When I asked him why he said I had just dismembered his Great Aunt Felicia on screen. How embarrasing! Ejecting the disc I quickly rummaged around for another game. Fallout 3 seemed a good choice so we spent a few hours taking turns in killing cockroaches. Zarg had a few problems interfacing his six tentacles with the Sixaxis but managed well before stumbling upon the Mothership Zeta DLC . He watched in awe as his character was beamed up to the flying saucer and told me his brother, Zumm, has a similar ship but his has alloys and a spoiler.

Once his character had entered the ship, Zarg was horrified to find he had to slaughter more aliens. It turns out that the Fallout alien characters look very similar to the inhabitants of the planet Skonk.

“Skonkanites are peace loving and devote their life to nature and beauty, they would never attack anyone!” a horrified Zarg tells me.

Oh dear! Another intergalactic faux pas! Quick, activate the TSA Tardis before anything else happens!

*Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Effect*

If that is to be our future, what would be the impact on gaming if there is life on other planets? If you think there was a bit of a fuss when you shot some unarmed Russians in Modern Warfare 2 imagine the worldwide uproar if, after Obama tells us E.T. is real, a game was released where you slaughter our new intergalatic neighbours. In the current ‘Nanny State’ where anything remotely offensive to anyone is condemned, would we see the end of Sci Fi shoot ’em ups?

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