New Releases: April 26th – May 2nd

Due to an inordinate about of writing commitments over the weekend just gone, this week’s edition of New Releases is going to be created in record time. I have given myself one hour to write synopses of four games along with the usual formating and image creation shenanigans that this weekly article requires. Why am I tell you this? Just as a warning, for the following might very well constitute the ramblings of a deranged mind.

Friday:

God Of War Collection

Release date: April 30th
Platforms: PS3
Publisher: SCE
Developer: Bluepoint Games (HD Port) / SCE Santa Monica Studios (Original)

Synopsis: Zeus with replay? It’s the first two mega-hit God Of War games resurrected from their PS2 grave and spruced up for the PS3, studio Bluepoint performing a magnificent job in updating what were already two awesome gaming experiences. It’s hard to believe that the first God of War game came out a mere five years ago as it feels like Kratos has been around kicking the shit out of deities and mythical creatures alike for a lot longer. With the addition of trophies and the fact that both games are on one Blu-ray disc (because, you know, who wants to waste time in life changing discs?), if you missed out on this dynamic duo for whatever reason back when they first came around, do yourself a favour, pick this up and simply relish in some of the best hack’n’slash action available on any console. And some tits. Bashings and tits. It’s like a super-combo.

Super Street Fighter IV

Release date: April 30th
Platforms: PS3 / 360
Publisher: Capcom
Developer: Dimps/Capcom

Synopsis: So nice they made it twice. In typical Capcom style, a Street Fighter game barely out more than a year gets rejigged for another jaunt around the park. There’s a persistent cynical opinion out there that suggests Super Street Fighter IV is merely a rehash of its earlier less-super edition. Even with the addition of new characters, new duds and a few tweaked combos, questions are abound as to why Capcom couldn’t have simply released this content as DLC for the first game rather than a complete reissue.

Two reasons. One: Capcom do this all the time. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find any other franchise out there that goes through as many iterations as a typical Street Fighter title. In other words: this shouldn’t have come as any surprise. OK, not really a reason, more an observation. Two: the game has been significantly remastered. From balance, to characters, to movies, to outfits, to combos, to endings, to the pixel count on Chun-Li’s ample assets (hopefully) – at some point you have to accept that this is not merely an updated “super-sized” version of the original game but a total redo altogether. Should a studio be practically remaking a game they made literally a year ago? See one above for an explanation. Oh, and it’s not like they’re making you buy it. It’s also significantly cheaper if you’re a die-hard fan, still disgruntled that Capcom have only gone and pulled the exact same stunt they’ve done countless times before.

Back to the game though, and with Juri – a mad-eyed Korean super-bitch who looks like a cross between Kim Marsh and a hyperactive meth-head (sorry US readers, Google her), we’ve also got the first appearance of Tae Kwon-do in a Street Fighter game. Do san! Sorry non-TKD fans. Once again, Google is your friend. Finally, and for the people still pissing and moaning about having to buy the same game twice, Capcom have promised not to do this again. At least until Street Fighter V. So, no “Super Duper Magic Ninja Street Alpha Fighter IV Beta Extreme Happy Sundance Redux.” Consider yourself blessed.

FIFA World Cup 2010

Release date: April 30th
Platforms: PS3 / 360 / PSP
Publisher: EA Sports
Developer: EA Canada

Synopsis: Ignoring for a second that a Canadian team of developers, people from a country that only qualified for the World Cup once – a tournament they went on to lose all three group games and failed to score even one measly goal in – have made this game,  FIFA World Cup 2010 promises not to be the usual regurgitation of previous FIFA games with the obligatory cosmetic updates. Hang on second. God of War Collection, Super Street Fighter IV and now FIFA World Cup 2010. I officially dub this “Rehash Week!”

Iron Man 2

Release date: April 30th
Platforms: PS3 / 360 / PSP
Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sega San Francisco

Synopsis: A game so dated I literally tore it from my PS3 with my bare hands for fear of my console regressing into a 3DO in front of my very eyes, Iron Man 2 already has a hill to climb to convince us that it’s in no way as bad as the first game. Portents aren’t good, however, with Sega having already pulled the plug on their Sega San Francisco studio where the game was produced. We’re not going to shy away from reality here. This game has all the hallmarks of your typical shoddy movie tie-in. We could be wrong. In fact, we’re be happy if we were. So, come on Sega, shock the bejesus out of us and produce a stellar super-hero game on par with the likes of Batman: Arkham Asylum. One thing the game does have over its eponymous film is the fact that Iron Man villain Crimson Dynamo will feature as a boss. Now you know.

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Please note: while every attempt is made to get both the dates accurate and every applicable game included, we are not infallible and mistakes will be made. Feel free to mention any omissions or corrections in the comments below. We’ll endeavour to correct the above and even thank you personally. We’re good like that. Finally, all dates are the official EU dates. Actual release dates in your country may vary to the dates shown above.