“I Don’t Want To Brush My Teeth In A Game” – Danny Bilson On Heavy Rain

Some may say THQ’s recent re-invention centres around one Danny Bilson, American writer and prolific producer and a self-claimed ‘avid gamer’ – he’s been crucial to games like Homefront, delivering rich stories to a media not normally known for effective exposition.

But one of last year’s most story-based titles, David Cage’s PS3 exclusive Heavy Rain, didn’t find much favour with Mr Bilson.  “I stopped playing,” he said.  “I couldn’t get past ‘brush your teeth, make breakfast’.”


“I just thought, I’m not digging this, I don’t want to brush my teeth in a game.”

It sounds like he wanted to get past the very beginning, though – and obviously everyone should.  “I probably should play it, I probably have some sort of responsibility to play it.  But I’m still a gamer and if I’m not getting it, I’m not going to drive hard through it.”

Games he did play?  Mass Effect 1 and 2 – “they have the best story-delivery system” and Red Dead Redemption – “my favourite game of the year.”

Bilson alluded to helping out with Saints Row 3 though – stopping short of answering whether he’s been involved from the start, but replying with a muted ‘yes’ when asked whether there were things he felt he could add to the series from a screenwriting perspective.

Source: Edge magazine, issue 226.



  1. There’s a lot of negativity toward Danny Bilson in some of these comments. Surely it’s up to him to decide for himself whether he likes a game or not? Whether he got past the tutorial or not the gameplay style doesn’t really change that much. If he didn’t like it then fair enough. Calling him names for being honest about his thoughts on it is ridiculous.

    • Yes, some people don’t get over the fact that some people might not enjoy the games they like. I myself think it’s rather stupid to ditch a game for not liking such a short part of the game but does it have any effect on how I feel about the game? No. So why give a rats ass about someone elses opinion or even go as far as dissing him (or a whole nation…) for it.

    • I agree. People are too quick to react to anything remotely negative about certain games.

      • I agree… but let he who is without sin, eh?

  2. I like this guy, speaks his mind without being crass or overly critical. Heavy Rain clearly wasn’t for him so it’s up to him to pull his pan out and create something for THQ which is super-amazing and topping sales charts.

    • It’s up to him to voice his opinion. However, saying I hate this game because it isn’t like GTA at all is a little weird. If he would have just said a sentence about the game, fine… he gave enough for a writer to have a full paragraph of his hatred of Heavy Rain then goes on to (idiotically) say that Red Dead Redemption is, on the other hand, everything right with gaming.

      It just seemed something a teenager on the Internet would say, or what Rockstar payola is up to these days.

  3. Heavy Rain was a victim of Cage’s runaway sensibilities. Half the stuff in there was tiresome, I’m with Bilson.

    • Of course, there’s nothing like good old Halo or Gears Of War stuff. Run and shoot, everybody!

  4. What an idiot.
    If you can’t take 15 minutes to get past a tutorial that basically preps you for the upcoming levels with fast paced motion controls, then you don’t even deserve to play the rest of the game.

    He’s just impatient, it seems.

    • But surely it’s up to bilson to decide whether or not he wants to continue playing the game?

    • Of course the story is going to get a lot deeper than the first 15 minutes, but it’s the first 15 minutes where you’re going to get drawn in.

      It’s the apparent monotonous gameplay that is putting me off even renting this game. (Although, all I’ve heard is good things)

  5. “I hate games that are different, you know that game Grand Theft Horse? That is a game that seemed like another game, you rarely brushed your teeth.”

    Okay, thanks whoever you are, Danny.

  6. No amount of namecalling changes the fact that most of Heavy Rain was dull as dishwater.

    • Well it’s ought to be immersive and realistic, meant to imitate stuff you would do in RL, it doesn’t have to be all stage lights and rock music.

    • If you don’t associate yourself with the character or the “mood” of the scene, it might not make sense, it’s just not a “technical” type of the game but more of “emotional” type.

    • Don’t forget the hefty amount of thoughts, too.

    • Definitely not enough running and shooting, obviously.

      Thankfully there’re over two million of gamers who appreciate an innovative new IP, thank you Quantic Dream and Sony.

    • Are you talking to yourself or que?

  7. Holy crap he was able to put up with ME1 alright but couldn’t get himself to brush teeth in HR? That’s some hypocrisy right there, or does he not brush teeth in RL

    • If anything ME1 is way more complicated (way overcomplicated starting from the controls and ending with the equipment customization) and full with all the elevator rides and planet exploration.

      • Don’t get me wrong i love ME and i’m currently trying to put up with ME1 but even after ME2 i’m really struggling with it even after a week. Heavy Rain was different, it’s just do the patterns kind of thing, it gets natural after a short while.

      • Mate, if you want to make a post here, try squeezing it all in one comment. It’s much neater that having to read three different comments.

  8. Every person has the right to opinion.

    Shame he didn’t like heavy rain, I though it was brilliant! Platinumed it aswell, shame there was any extra DLC

  9. Heavy Rain was a good game. Deserved it’s success. While everyone has a right to an opinion, the opinion of someone who claims he didn’t get beyond the first five minutes of gameplay is pretty worthless.

    Disappointing (If unsurprising) to see certain staff of this site continue to run this game down at every opportunity though.

    • True, and it’s of course again done by a mysterious “TSA News Team” – someone’s ashamed of the written piece, then? ;)

    • True. Not to mention the fact this Bilson hasn’t ever done anything worth noting. Seemed like he can’t even be employed in the game market.

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