The PlayStation Network is down and there’s no exact timeframe for its return. This is obviously very frustrating for anyone who has picked up one of the big releases this weekend, especially as it’s a long weekend in the UK and many of you have time off from school or work.
We don’t want you to wallow though, we want you to adapt. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek list of ten things you could do while waiting for those Sony engineers to earn their salaries and get you back in the deathmatch.
- Go outside. I know. Normally I’d be the last person to recommend this. I mean, outside is where there are people who aren’t on your Deathmatch team. You’ll probably have to interact with people who can hear you even when your headset is set to mute. There is sunlight though, so that’s a bonus. You get vitamin D from sunlight and that’s the one that helps to regulate neuromuscular functions. That means that sunlight actually helps your brain send faster messages to your trigger finger.
- Get yourself on over to the PS Blog and leave as many comments as you’ve got time for on there. Make them as passive-aggressive as possible so that everyone on the internet can see how smart and funny you are. Those nasty PlayStation Blog employees should feel your wrath for the egregious occurrence of some unidentified problem with no confirmed cause.
- Make some cakes. In celebration of Portal 2’s release weekend and GLaDOS’ famous fib about cake you could enjoy some spongy goodness. That’s right, prove the psychotic bitch wrong. Make your cake a reality.
- Play on another machine. I realise that not everyone will have the ability to do this so if you’re a single console kinda guy and you don’t own a mobile phone made after 1997 then just skip ahead (but do let me know how the hell you’re reading this). Almost everything has games on it now, even if there are no single player games that don’t require network connection on your PS3, you could still find an electronic distraction somewhere else. I’ll be playing Football Manager Handheld on the iPad.
- Go to TheSixthAxis’ forums and either: a) piss and moan about the PSN being down or b) start a thread about something funny and watch everyone else throw even more funny at you.
- Make sure every single follower you have on Twitter (or friend you have on Facebook) knows how annoying it is that you can’t connect to the network services on your games console. They should really feel your pain. If your tweet/status update only contains one exclamation mark then you’re not trying hard enough.
- Play on Xbox Live, it’s working fine.
- Read some of the latest content on TheSixthAxis, it’s probably awesome and funny and there’s plenty to keep you entertained. Go ahead and comment on our stories and articles too, we like it when you do that. Only don’t be too harsh on me for number 7, it was only a cheeky little joke, you know!
- Read a book. If you really have to, there are even books about games and their surrounding fiction. Seriously, books are great. They don’t have very good graphics and the sound design is non-existent but they usually have a really good narrative and most are longer than the average FPS.
- Found your own technology company and plot the creation of your own games console with its own online service that isn’t down for repairs at the most inconvenient times. This is probably not something you can get done in a day or two while the PSN is down but you could make a start and just add to your plans every time there’s scheduled maintenance. I predict that by 2014 you’ll have a complete business plan and prototypes to show at E3. There will be banks falling over themselves to lend you the cash you need to get that first factory built.
All joking aside, what are you doing with your time while the PSN is down? It’s nice weather for most of the UK, has anyone got the BBQ going yet?
LunaticSoul
I did MORTAL K O M B A T, all day long. :|
online4ntagonist
Haha, great tips! I’m reading Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut. A must read writer for all you smart sci-fi-but then again-more fans!
Tuffcub
Shagged, obv.
hazelam
what you do in your own time is your own business. o_O
Sympozium
Agreed…
The Lone Steven
I’m telling CB,tuffcub. now get back to your cave.:P
fattyuk
I think it’s about time old Mr butler got on the case! Keep us amused while all this is going down!
MXZ
Its currently 7:42 AM and its raining outside, so im not too sure about going out of my kingdom.
i actually did go for a walk a few nights ago, just up the road, and i encountered a guy i knew from school. he said hi and i didn’t know how to react (because i didn’t expect to talk to anyone) so i just kind of waved and then we walked closer to each other and said bye, i then continued walking…….
I dont like people.
ill shower in a bit, then throw something on and call its cloths then ill venture off and ill just keep walking, without any erection or destination.
ill just keep walking until i found a reason to live.
AG2297
“Without any erection or destination” o_O
fattyuk
it’s 22.56pm in the uk, it’s been sunny all day nd will be for rest of the weekend!
tonycawley
This worrying post makes my want to point you towards a counsellor! You ok in there?
MXZ
Ha, counselors are a waste of time, money and effort.
i know because ive studied psychology and know quite well what is considered helping a patient and what is hindering them.
put me on every medicine known to man and all you will get in the end is a puppet incapable of using his own brain, because the medicine has taken its place.
That is no way to live.
you could say im just shy. well screw that! im a loner, for the sole reason that i can live and survive on my own
sure i do go to school and i do hang out and talk with kids, but that only makes me normal, not specifically happy.
i guess you could say im happier alone then i am when i have company.
everyone on this site should have a vague idea of who i am.
im smart, dumb, fun, dull, classy, vein , sad , happy.
my emotions change rapidly so you really cant define me as a genuily happy or sad person, im much more complex then that.
Now if you will excuse me, im going for that walk.
Sympozium
This post had made my day or night or morning…?
Sympozium
Wonder how long it will last… like all I use PSN for is chat, I rarely play online, I just download new content.
Shaggy2Dope
I beg to differ on the graphics and sound of reading a book because the human imagination can conjure up some of the best graphics and sound. :)
Crocadillian
I haven’t played the PS3 in months. It may be parasites screwing with my head, but I haven’t had the drive to play anything on it. All I do currently is use PlayTV to record films for university this year T_T.
Foxhound_Solid
Quality time with the missus and bbqs.
TheSpaceCowboy
I went outside…
a lot more air then I remember!