Ten Things To Do While The PSN Is Down

The PlayStation Network is down and there’s no exact timeframe for its return. This is obviously very frustrating for anyone who has picked up one of the big releases this weekend, especially as it’s a long weekend in the UK and many of you have time off from school or work.

We don’t want you to wallow though, we want you to adapt. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek list of ten things you could do while waiting for those Sony engineers to earn their salaries and get you back in the deathmatch.

1. Go outside. I know. Normally I’d be the last person to recommend this. I mean, outside is where there are people who aren’t on your Deathmatch team. You’ll probably have to interact with people who can hear you even when your headset is set to mute. There is sunlight though, so that’s a bonus. You get vitamin D from sunlight and that’s the one that helps to regulate neuromuscular functions. That means that sunlight actually helps your brain send faster messages to your trigger finger.
2. Get yourself on over to the PS Blog and leave as many comments as you’ve got time for on there. Make them as passive-aggressive as possible so that everyone on the internet can see how smart and funny you are. Those nasty PlayStation Blog employees should feel your wrath for the egregious occurrence of some unidentified problem with no confirmed cause.
3. Make some cakes. In celebration of Portal 2’s release weekend and GLaDOS’ famous fib about cake you could enjoy some spongy goodness. That’s right, prove the psychotic bitch wrong. Make your cake a reality.
4. Play on another machine. I realise that not everyone will have the ability to do this so if you’re a single console kinda guy and you don’t own a mobile phone made after 1997 then just skip ahead (but do let me know how the hell you’re reading this). Almost everything has games on it now, even if there are no single player games that don’t require network connection on your PS3, you could still find an electronic distraction somewhere else. I’ll be playing Football Manager Handheld on the iPad.
5. Go to TheSixthAxis’ forums and either: a) piss and moan about the PSN being down or b) start a thread about something funny and watch everyone else throw even more funny at you.
6. Make sure every single follower you have on Twitter (or friend you have on Facebook) knows how annoying it is that you can’t connect to the network services on your games console. They should really feel your pain. If your tweet/status update only contains one exclamation mark then you’re not trying hard enough.
7. Play on Xbox Live, it’s working fine.
8. Read some of the latest content on TheSixthAxis, it’s probably awesome and funny and there’s plenty to keep you entertained. Go ahead and comment on our stories and articles too, we like it when you do that. Only don’t be too harsh on me for number 7, it was only a cheeky little joke, you know!
9. Read a book. If you really have to, there are even books about games and their surrounding fiction. Seriously, books are great. They don’t have very good graphics and the sound design is non-existent but they usually have a really good narrative and most are longer than the average FPS.
10. Found your own technology company and plot the creation of your own games console with its own online service that isn’t down for repairs at the most inconvenient times. This is probably not something you can get done in a day or two while the PSN is down but you could make a start and just add to your plans every time there’s scheduled maintenance. I predict that by 2014 you’ll have a complete business plan and prototypes to show at E3. There will be banks falling over themselves to lend you the cash you need to get that first factory built.

All joking aside, what are you doing with your time while the PSN is down? It’s nice weather for most of the UK, has anyone got the BBQ going yet?