The PlayStation Network is down and there’s no exact timeframe for its return. This is obviously very frustrating for anyone who has picked up one of the big releases this weekend, especially as it’s a long weekend in the UK and many of you have time off from school or work.
We don’t want you to wallow though, we want you to adapt. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek list of ten things you could do while waiting for those Sony engineers to earn their salaries and get you back in the deathmatch.
- Go outside. I know. Normally I’d be the last person to recommend this. I mean, outside is where there are people who aren’t on your Deathmatch team. You’ll probably have to interact with people who can hear you even when your headset is set to mute. There is sunlight though, so that’s a bonus. You get vitamin D from sunlight and that’s the one that helps to regulate neuromuscular functions. That means that sunlight actually helps your brain send faster messages to your trigger finger.
- Get yourself on over to the PS Blog and leave as many comments as you’ve got time for on there. Make them as passive-aggressive as possible so that everyone on the internet can see how smart and funny you are. Those nasty PlayStation Blog employees should feel your wrath for the egregious occurrence of some unidentified problem with no confirmed cause.
- Make some cakes. In celebration of Portal 2’s release weekend and GLaDOS’ famous fib about cake you could enjoy some spongy goodness. That’s right, prove the psychotic bitch wrong. Make your cake a reality.
- Play on another machine. I realise that not everyone will have the ability to do this so if you’re a single console kinda guy and you don’t own a mobile phone made after 1997 then just skip ahead (but do let me know how the hell you’re reading this). Almost everything has games on it now, even if there are no single player games that don’t require network connection on your PS3, you could still find an electronic distraction somewhere else. I’ll be playing Football Manager Handheld on the iPad.
- Go to TheSixthAxis’ forums and either: a) piss and moan about the PSN being down or b) start a thread about something funny and watch everyone else throw even more funny at you.
- Make sure every single follower you have on Twitter (or friend you have on Facebook) knows how annoying it is that you can’t connect to the network services on your games console. They should really feel your pain. If your tweet/status update only contains one exclamation mark then you’re not trying hard enough.
- Play on Xbox Live, it’s working fine.
- Read some of the latest content on TheSixthAxis, it’s probably awesome and funny and there’s plenty to keep you entertained. Go ahead and comment on our stories and articles too, we like it when you do that. Only don’t be too harsh on me for number 7, it was only a cheeky little joke, you know!
- Read a book. If you really have to, there are even books about games and their surrounding fiction. Seriously, books are great. They don’t have very good graphics and the sound design is non-existent but they usually have a really good narrative and most are longer than the average FPS.
- Found your own technology company and plot the creation of your own games console with its own online service that isn’t down for repairs at the most inconvenient times. This is probably not something you can get done in a day or two while the PSN is down but you could make a start and just add to your plans every time there’s scheduled maintenance. I predict that by 2014 you’ll have a complete business plan and prototypes to show at E3. There will be banks falling over themselves to lend you the cash you need to get that first factory built.
All joking aside, what are you doing with your time while the PSN is down? It’s nice weather for most of the UK, has anyone got the BBQ going yet?
uber-BARBIE
and i wouldnt play on a shitbox 3shitty if ya paid me too. the controller is awefull.whats up with the analogue thumb sticks being one higher than the other.it just so wrong on many many levels
bunimomike
Why be so antagonistic? Appreciate and respect that we all like different things.
uber-BARBIE
just chattin shit bro tbo. im bored as fuck lol
uber-BARBIE
hey bro my spellin.leave it alone it aint hurting you lol. aint been to school since 1990 my brain is mush with too much gaming ;) love you too brother hehehe ;)
TSBonyman
A trip to stonerville perhaps…
Paranoimia
I’m sure most of us have a collection of games in which 99% feature a single-player mode. Play those instead and quit f*cking whining.
topgear
correction #1) Plan a lawsuit for suspending our services without prior notice :)
m61726b
Give another few hours and Gamers’ Voice will be on it!
Sympozium
How could I know?, how could I see?
feeling like lost in offline to roam forever
Lost in offline
lost in time
Lost in offline
Lost in time
Lost in offline
*yes! Steam
tonycawley
Well I’ve been wallowing in self pity the whole day, having been out on the piss last night and stumbling back in at 3.30am. I plan to continue doing this for the rest of the day, unfortunately my Mrs and son will be coming home soon then I’ll actually have to communicate in person (not sure I’m capable of that!)
cc_star
Been outside for the past couple of weeks, hadn’t noticed Sony’s problems till I couldn’t get on Warhawk late last night. Will be spending the weekend outside & hopefully the next few months.
I’d forgotten how awesome actual life was.
Thank you Sony & either your technical ineptitude or Anon, still not sure which, but thankyou anyway.
skibadee
thank Anon NO thanks.
Kronik76
You sure you’re in the right profession? That could easily be taken as a cuss to gamers.
uber-BARBIE
hey dude hes so cussin us right there. lets get him ;/ lol.lets do an anonymous on his arse and stalk his work place. (snigle snigle)
billsmugs
PSN is down, so I went on a demo instead of LBP2. The demo was good, so I decided to buy it while I wait for my birthday and Portal 2. (Might and Magic: Clash of Heroes, if anyone’s wondering) The full game is available to purchase from the PSN Store. So now I’ve gone from not being overly bothered about the PSN being down to being quite annoyed!
Good to see a Top Ten article on TSA again though.
skibadee
never heard of SP lol.
hazelam
out..side? o_O
what is this out..side you speak of?
and sunshine, good for you?
as if.
fattyuk
Hahaha that’s gotta be post of the day