Once again, several of the staff sat down to watch the Nintendo E3 Press Conference, and give their impressions on the announcements. There was a lot of buzz going into it about Project Cafe. Did Nintendo pull off a grand unveil?
Gareth: sounds like it’s starting, music went off. Oh… never mind. It stopped a song mid song and started another Because that makes sense…
Kris: Breaking news for them being late seems a bit strong
Chris Clarke: Keighly said they’re running late, if they’re running as late as Sony I’ll miss it
Blair: 1 minute
Gareth: It’s starting. They have an orchestra… Zelda up first it seems.
Blair: Zelda, good start.
Kris: This music is nice. I’m literally only listening to this.
Blair: Ah, Zelda… I love Zelda.
Shigeru Miyamoto came on to talk about Zelda’s 25th anniversary and some of the plans to celebrate. He brought his translator along with him, who translated on the fly, as Miyamoto talked…
Gareth: This is really confusing my head
Adam: Talking at the same time is fail
Peter: turn down Shigsy’s mic, bellends.
Gareth: stream just went mental, then took its meds, apparently
Kris: They’re gonna play music
Peter: jesus christ, what is this shit? Games, Ninty, remember those?
Gareth: they have orchestra playing tunes from Skyward Sword
Gareth: this is not the kind of playing I expected to see in E3
Jim: Games or GTFO
Peter: argh, stop talking over him.
Adam: This is what happens when you are the top selling console publisher
Gareth: Link’s Awakening virtual console lineup – it’s the first one downloadable around the world today by day’s end
Peter: I’ve got excitebike 3D already! It’s not very good really.
Jim: agreed, it’s dog shite
Gareth: LoZ 3D!
Blair: s’alright, I like the Pokedex thing
Gareth: I’m only just updating my 3DS
Chris Clarke: Right, I’ve got to go. #fuckers
Jim: If I was 10 years younger I would love the PokeDex
Gareth: 4 player coop Zelda for free in September
Stefan: Four Swords as a freebie is nice.
Peter: Free to attendees, or free to all?
Gareth: Free to all in September.
Peter: Wow. Is this not also on 3DS? Nintendo hurt my head.
Stefan: Not sure. He just said DSi…
Blair: but they just want a Zelda games on all consoles this year.
Greg: Oooo it’ll coordinate with the Goldeneye Classic controller I haven’t got.
Talk turns back to the orchestra and their upcoming tour for a moment.
Jim: An orchestra? Fuck me, I didn’t notice.
Peter: I wish they’d play the theme from Sonic
Stefan: There should be a lid that comes down and covers the orchestra over now
Greg: Look how they’ve fenced the ochestra in so they can’t escape.
Stefan: Bet there’s a “Don’t feed the musicians” sign off to the side.
Adam: I haven’t understood a single word apart from ‘orchestra’ so far.
Shigeru Miyamoto departed the stage with a bow, before Iwata comes on to tease.
Greg: Didn’t bow as long as Kaz did they.
Gareth: OH GOD LOUD VOICE
Greg: Iwata Speaks!
Jim: Thought that “Let me entertain you” for a minute
Peter: Yeah, they’ve milked Robbie Williams in order to make chips for the new console. he’s like a dairy cow now.
Greg: Here we go…
After a few minutes of saying next to nothing about Project Cafe, Iwata then simply said “We’ll just talk about that later on.”
Peter: I love the way Japanese people say “Nintendo”
Adam: He reminds me of a James Bond villain
Peter: I wonder if Reggie is coming or if he’s getting his wrestling garb on for the big Tretton showdown of my dreams
Greg: Mario Kart, Star Fox
Gareth: it said do a barrel roll! E3 is now complete
Kris: This Mario music is awesome. Jazz
Gareth: damn, that fighting in Kid Icarus was damn cool
Greg: Loving what they’ve done with the screen
Peter: Yes, Greg, it is awesome.
Stefan: Luigi’s Mansion? Is that a new one? Wonder if it’ll be a 2 or just a remake of the GC game.
Reggie’s in the house.
Kris: REGGIE! WOO! Reggie will fuck you up.
Adam: He is straight out of a Mario game. He would kick Bowzers ass
Greg: Remember it’s pronounced FEES-Amay
Kris: Man cannot read a script though
Gareth: ‘with our new home console’?
Jim: This conference is a bit all over the place.
Kris: Is Reggie a robot now? He sounds like speak ‘n spell.
Adam: looks the same so far…
Gareth: Yep, that’s Mario Kart, next please
Blair: Mario Kart is fucking awesome.
Jim: Played this
Peter: and yet, always the same. “Tricked out version”, my arse.
Gareth: Oh I love Mario Kart, but we know what it looks like and they can’t show it in 3D on that screen
Peter: oh, hangliders, fair enough then Reggie.
Gareth: underwater? customization?
Greg: Pimp my Mario
Stefan: lol, that was very silly. The graphics look pretty lovely.
Blair: Customisation is niiiice.
Gareth: looks good, that.
Gareth: still Mario Kart though
Jim: yeh, looks fun
Gareth: starfox 3DS with motion control
Greg: Yeah, coz lots of people like playing wipEout with sixaxis control…
Gareth: seems useless considering the view angle of the 3d on 3ds
Kris: Are we sure Reggie isn’t a robot?
Stefan: That’ll totally break the 3D effect, surely? Tilt it and the 3D breaks.
Blair: man, this looks awesome
Adam: got to say, this does loook rather fun
Adam: Kid Icarus: Uprising now
Gareth: was the anything of interest about Super Mario other than it coming to 3DS/in 3D?
Stefan: It’s a brand new title
Gareth: well yeah I suppose
Kris: shit tons before end of year
Kris: That’s good
Peter: not for my wallet
Gareth: kid icarus trading cards?
Gareth: aug reality?
Stefan: Augment Reality cards
Peter: Kid Icarus 3vs3 and AR battles.
Luigi’s Mansion 2
Stefan: Goodie, a proper sequel :)
Adam: Luigis mansion 2
Stefan: Always meant to play Luigi 1, might dig out my GameCube and give it a crack.
Adam: cool lightning..
Stefan: several new mansions? Is Luigi moonlighting as a Ghostbuster?
Tekken 3D was briefly glimpsed.
Jim: tekken 3d
Gareth: Tekken 3d
Talk turns back to the just opened 3DS store
Gareth: why are people applauding 3d excitebike?
Gareth: we already know about that
Gareth: we can already download it ffs
Greg: Still a blast? Peter says no.
Blair: the Pokedex thing is very cool
Stefan: In the real world? So are they genetically engineering some real life pokemon?
Kris: Oh crap is this monter hunter?
Kris: That might not be what I mean
Gareth: so it’s an actual pokedex.
Blair: yes, it’s out now
Gareth: Except we can’t catch real pokemon to fill it up.
Kris: Maybe you can’t gamoc
Gareth: Spotpass is useless to me, I’ve walked around Dundee city centre and never got anything from it
Gareth: [shrugs] Blair: I doubt they’d model all the 3D Pokémon JUST for this, there must be something else coming.
Gareth: well yes but we already know there’ll be a 3D pokemon game
Head over to page 2 for quite a long, rage filled look at the Project Cafe unveil.