Space Invaders: The Movie

Lorenzo di Bonaventura, the brains behind the forthcoming ‘Asteroids’ movie, has snapped up the rights for Space Invaders and the 1978 arcade classic is heading towards the big screen. I can exclusively reveal the first draft of the script:

<The movie opens in space, it is pitch black. An Alien appears on the left hand side of the screen>

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Alien: Blip!

<The Alien moves slightly to the left>

Alien: Bloop!

<The Alien moves slightly to the left>

Alien: Blip!

<The Alien moves slightly to the left>

Alien: Bloop!

<The Alien fires>

Alien: Pew pew pew!

<Now at the right hand side of the screen, the Alien shuffles downwards slightly>

Alien: Blip!

<This sequence continues for 120 minutes until Shia Le Beouf appears>

Shia: This mystical, magical macguffin will save the day!

<He holds aloft the mystical, magical macguffin. It saves the day. The words ‘Game Over’ fade across the screen> 

Source: Hollywood Reporter

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17 Comments

  1. Sounds like a blockbuster to me!

  2. Oh dear.

  3. Okay,Hollywood has now ran out of ideas and are desprate to make a movie about any thing. I suspect AI:the movie will go like this.

    Aliens land, action sequence, more action,very little character development,more action,unessecary 3D scenes and slow mo scenes,more action, Shia lebouf getting killed by the aliens,more action and then some BS, credits.

    There is an Asteriods film in the making.I am going to need another coffee.

    • ‘AI’ was about robots wasn’t it?? :P

  4. I couldn’t see how this would be a success but then Shia TheBeef appeared. Guaranteed blockbuster

  5. This SHOULD be a joke, just wow. I hope that guy doesn’t have the funds or something catastrophic happens during production.

    • Skorpy (as Lorenzo is known to certain folk) has tonnes of money. He was also behind G.I. Joe, Doom, Derailed and Shooter.

  6. I can see it now, the world powers are just about to secure victory… until the alien ships switch direction and increase speed.

  7. Crazy, just crazy.

  8. Or… It could be like the Futurama episode and be great!

  9. I think i’ll wait for the Broadway version..

  10. Other classic games to make into movies could be Q*bert (with added swearing), Pole Position (hang on, that GTA IV isn’t it?!), Plants Vs Zombies, EyePet The Movie (each member of the cinema audience is given a black card with a paw print on it to make the on-screen image appear to look at them), Half Life 2 (one day…), but not (please) Heavy Rain – arrgghhh the minutiae and the tedium!

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