Right. Really? This is an actual thing? I mean, Surgeon Simulator seems a vaguely sensible concept, as does simulating a goat, but playing as a slice of bread? Really?
The game is “the beautiful story of one slice of bread’s epic and emotional journey as it embarks upon a quest to become toasted,” according to Bossa.
Look, I don’t want any toast, and he doesn’t want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast. Or muffins. Or muffins. We don’t like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.