The Martian VR Experience Is Utter Pants

Let’s start with the good stuff: The Martian VR Experience has actual Matt Damon in it, and even better, has two disco classics on its soundtrack.

You get quite a lot of Damon which goes someway to explaining why a 20 minute experience is over twelve gigs to download but as for the rest of the game, well, it crashes. A lot. In fact I have given up in ever finishing the game because after eight plays I still haven’t reached the end. I should reiterate: this game is twenty minutes long and costs £15.

In this Twitch broadcast you can see I managed a whole four minutes before a crash, and in this one I lasted just three minutes. The next video I managed thirteen minutes, but four minutes of that is where it crashed. On the upside it does contain some absolutely superb hand jiving to Donna Summer, and some excellent Jazz Hands. I’m very proud of them.

Here is the final video, after which I have decided Mark Watney can starve to death on Mars.

You might as well shove fifteen quid in a firework and aim it at Mars rather than spend it on this pile of broken rubbish.

Written by
News Editor, very inappropriate, probs fancies your dad.


  1. Love it! What a great write up!

  2. Well that made sense why I couldn’t watch your stream….. twice lol
    Still thanks for the heads up TC
    I’ll just wait it out hopefully some patches and maybe £7.99

  3. I have two comments from that video.

    1. Jazz hands!
    2. Pootatoes!

  4. Well I’m glad I waited until your review before wasting £15. I’m surprised you were so generous with your -2 mark, your video on the other hand I would give 8 out of 10. It would have been 9 if you had managed to set fire to the teddy bear.

  5. I’ve had a watch of the Vive version, and it has a little more content (like, 30 seconds more), and the Teddy Bear is in reach. It appears that the PSVR version is actually cut down from the Vive version, god knows why though – why put a Teddy bear out of reach in our version?

    Utter rubbish.

  6. Terrible game, but great review! :D

  7. Hilarious! I wish game companies would stop making shit.

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