Europe is hot today. Really hot. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly hot it is. I mean, you may think it’s a warm way down in Miami, but that’s just peanuts to London.
Record breaking temperatures are expected across the United Kingdom today with thermometers soaring up to a possible 39 degrees in parts of the capital, and it’s not just us suffering form the heat, the whole of Europe is scorchio. Madrid will also be burning in 36 degree heat, but you’d expect them to be used to this kind of thing in Spain. Berlin’s basically just as hot with 35 degrees, but Paris takes the biscuit, grabs a magnifying glass and sets it on fire with an insane 41 degrees. It’s only Dublin that escapes the heat with a relatively fresh 21 degrees on the cards.
For pretty much all of Europe, it’s a day to close all the curtains and hide in a dark, and hopefully cool, room. But what to do in this room besides point a fan at your face? Well, play games of course, and we’ve picked out the best titles to chill out with.
Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds
Just look at that chilling, frozen vista. Snow drifts to clamber through, icy peaks to summit, a huge area of refrigerated delights and the occasional psychotic robot bear to keep things interesting. The game is on sale now on the PlayStation Store for just £12.99, so you really have no excuse not to chill out with Aloy.
Unless you own a Switch or an Xbox and not a PS4, in that case you’re a bit screwed.
Another game on sale on the PlayStation Store, this time for just £8.99 and also on sale on the Xbox Store at £9.59, Steep has all the chilled thrills you could ask for. Plummet off a mountainside on skis and smash into a tree! Plummet off a mountainside using a wingsuit and smash in to a rock face! Plummet off a mountainside on a snowboard and smash in to snowdrift! Plummet off a mountainside using.. you get the idea.
The game was also on PlayStation Plus a while back, so you probably downloaded but never bothered playing it. Why not give it a try today?
Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash
Available on all formats this Senran Kagura spin off lets you have massive water fights with nubile nymphettes. Is there a better way to cool down than being hosed by a wide eyed anime girl in the skimpiest of underwear? We think not! For added realism why not ask a friend to spray you with a real water pistol while playing? Just make sure they don’t get the wet stuff near your console or PC!
If there’s one game guaranteed to banish all thoughts of sunshine and light, it’s Quantic Dreams depressingly dark interactive drama. After the initial scenes with a happy family, the rain begins and never ends, drenching the protagonists and reducing the palette to greys and murky browns. The rain is part of the plot, the continuing downpour means that you just have three days to unmask the Oragami Killer, and if you add in the self-mutilation and drug abuse, you have the perfect game to chill your heart.
You may be thinking we’re recommending Destiny 2 thanks to the icy caverns found on Mars, but you would be wrong. For the ultimate cooling experience, play the game for an hour or so until you get a message telling you the Postmaster is almost out of space. Head back to the tower and pay Kadi 55-30 a visit and make sure you are sat with the back of your PlayStation 4 pointing towards you. Now, start recycling all those items!
Within seconds the fan on your PlayStation 4 will be working overtime and wafting air towards you! Why does one of the simplest and least demanding things in the game cause the PS4 fan to whirr so hard it sounds like your console is going to take off is anyone’s guess, but it does. And sure, it might be hot air, but all air is hot today, so you’ve got to take what you can get!
Bonus: Game Boy Ice Cream Sandwiches
Not technically a game, but if you fancy getting creative, then these little blighters will cool you down.
Do you have any other gaming recommendations during the heatwave? Let us know in the comments!