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Opinion

Resist The Co-op?

In which Nofi and Michael couldn't - so they had a fiddle together

Given our outstanding levels of cooperation and cleverness employed in the making of TSA, we thought it’d be easy to re-use the magic formula in a cooperative game of Resistance 2.  There are various degrees of wrong in the world and an hour later we realised we were right at the forefront.

As is usual when we get together for a game over the PSN, the first attempt took 20 minutes of trying to find each other, then trying to join each other’s party or game, and a general harkening back to the good old days of Xbox Live on the original Xbox when all this stuff worked on day one.  The only bit of this whole process that brought any humour was that Nofi was blissfully unaware I was picking up dog poo while talking to him over the PSN.  Who knew the Bluetooth headset had such range?

Eventually, of course, even retards of our limited capacity managed to create and join up in a game.  Only for it to be disconnected ten seconds in because Nofi lives in a place where broadband is as much an accident as it is a robust service.

When I invited him for a cooperative game, I didn’t realise there’d be so much cooperation required just to get a game started.  I honestly believe it would have been quicker had I left the house, driven to a now closed game shop, broken in and nicked a 360, driven home and set up said 360, repackaged the 360 after it RRODd, sent it off to be fixed, waited 3 weeks until…oh wait, we’ve finally created a party and game that works – game on!

R2’s coop lets you pick from one of three character classes.  Basically: Soldier is the main grunt; Special Ops is like a soldier, but with the added job of dishing out ammo; Medic is a big girly puff, but has the – as we found – incredibly important job of healing the other players.

Here’s how it went down.

Game 1

Michael: Medic
Nofi: Special Ops

Figuring this would be the same as normal Resistance, but easier because of the coop I waded in while Nofi hung back.  30 seconds later there were 10 dead Chimera and I was well chuffed.  I sneaked a peek at the leaderboard: Nofi 10 kills, Michael 0.  It was a harsh lesson that I didn’t really learn from.

As we continued through the level, where my cooperation was essentially to keep out of Nofi’s way, I noticed he was low on health.  A-ha!  My time had come.  I was certain that an on-screen tip had told me to press circle to throw out health packs.

Nofi: I need healing.
Michael: I know.  It says to press Circle to heal.  Bit gutted, ‘cos I wanted to press Circle to throw grenades.
Nofi: Yeah, I still need healing.  Now.
Michael: Right, yeah.
Nofi: …
Michael: …
Nofi: Are you dead?
Michael: Yeah.
Nofi: Does Circle throw grenades?
Michael: Yeah.
Nofi: Did you grenade yourself to death when I needed healing?
Michael: Yeah, sorry.

Game 2

Michael: Medic
Nofi: Special Ops

So, forget Circle for healing, it’s R2 you need to press.  This time I was ready.

Unfortunately, 60 second in and I was dead again, leaving Nofi alone with no chance of me healing him.  Amidst awesome Chimera fire, he did wander over to my prone position and help revive me so that I could respawn.  He then ran rampant over the Chimera, while I span in circles on the spot trying not to press Circle ever again.  Again the Chimera attacked and Nofi was down.  I was scared.

Michael: Are you dead?
Nofi: Yes.
Michael: Damn.
Nofi: You could help revive me.  If you’re not doing anything else.
Michael: Oh.  Right.
Nofi: …
Michael: …
Nofi: When you’re ready.  I’ll just wait.
Michael: Sorry.  On my way!
Nofi: …
Michael: …
Nofi: Are you dead?
Michael: Yeah, sorry.

Game 3

Michael: Soldier
Nofi: Special Ops

I figured I try being a soldier so that I could actually shoot some stuff in the face.  What nobody told me was that the soldier’s gun takes about ten seconds to actually start shooting death.  So, I ran headlong into a Chimera battle charge, and then stood there getting ripped to pieces while my gun got ready to fire.

Thankfully, Nofi saved me.  Again.

By this time I’d learned that as a soldier I could activate a groovy shield thing, which enabled me to finally take part in the game without dying.  The only downside to this was when I fell through the floor into a part of the level that I could not escape from.  This left Nofi all alone up top, with barely any health left, running around trying to complete all the objectives.

Michael: Run backwards.  Backwards.  Then you can drop down with me.
Nofi: …
Michael: Where are you?  I can’t see you?
Nofi: …
Michael: I’m trying to get back up.
Nofi: …
Michael: …
Nofi: It’s ok Michael, I’ll sort it.
Michael: You’re alive!
Nofi: Yes.  When I find you, you won’t be.
Michael: Yeah, sorry.

After Nofi’s spirited attempts the forcefield preventing me from joining the fray was finally deactivated.  We were feeling good, and headed over to a door that required us to “fiddle” with two devices to open it.  I was pumped.  So it was perhaps not surprising that I charged into enemy fire, pressed Circle instead of R2 for my shield and grenaded myself half to death, before finally being cut to ribbons by something other than friendly fire.

Nofi: Are you dead?
Michael: Yes.
Nofi: This is too difficult.
Michael: What is?
Nofi: Playing coop with you.
Michael: Yeah, sorry.

I loved it.  Nofi has yet to commit to playing again.

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