“Our goal with Saints Row: The Third was to make the most crazy, ridiculous, wacky, over the top open world experience you’ve ever seen. We’ve got a brand new engine, new weapons, crazy melee animations – basically everything that Saints Row is known for, we’re going to turn it up to 11.”
These words, from developers Volition, are pretty much everything you need to know about Saints Row: The Third. This is no revolution. Instead it’s an amplification of everything you’ve always loved (or hated) about the series.
To that end, they’ve pumped in a bunch of ridiculous toys with which you can wreak havoc. There’s a Transformers-esque VTOL jet that allows you blast lasers at the teeming streets below. There’s the Apoca-fists, big foam hands that literally reduce enemies to a bloody mist. There’s a gun that sends a hail of rockets flying down at a tagged target. There’s even a big rubber dildo you can hit people around the face with.
I’ll say that again. There’s even a big rubber dildo you can hit people around the face with. If that doesn’t indicate Volition’s direction with Saints Row: The Third, I’m not sure what does.
[drop]But I’m getting ahead of myself. Saints Row: The Third moves the action out of Stilwater and into Steelport, a run-down industrial city under the control of The Syndicate. Comprised of three distinct groups – the Deckers, Morning Star and the Luchadores, The Syndicate are the game’s antagonists.Not that you’re a good guy, of course. In Saints Row: The Third, the Saints have turned criminality into celebrity. With their faces adorning commercials and billboards around the city, they’ve got merchandise and movie deals coming out of their ears. They don’t need to steal and murder for money, they do it for fun.
An early mission has you robbing a bank alongside a particularly precious method actor who is prepping to play the role of Johnny Gat (a high-ranking Saints soldier) in the upcoming Saints movie. But when the actor realises he’s in above his head, he triggers an alarm and all hell breaks loose.
What follows is a huge gunfight as the (still awkwardly unnamed) protagonist battles his way to the roof of the bank, blasting cops and heavily-armed staff as he goes. None of that lot from those Halifax adverts were among the victims, unfortunately. Though that doesn’t stop you imagining it.
[drop2]Anyway, once the fight reaches the roof, the action escalates. A chopper lifts the bank vault into the air with the protagonist swaying around precariously on top. While being thrown all over the place, he attempts to see off the SWAT teams and armed police on nearby rooftops, as well as the hovering PD choppers. It’s bonkers, a tightly-scripted, dramatic set-piece that would look at home in any shooter with “cinematic” pretensions.But it’s utterly stupid, of course. By design. Feeding into this is an enhanced suite of customisation options. This time out you won’t be restricted to a choice of a few different outfits and such, there’s loads to do. The current build has a menu stuffed with sliders and colour wheels and outfit choices.
This extends to your vehicles too. Now you can change everything from body kits, to armour strength, via alloy wheels and, of course, colour. It’s all quite impressive really, hampered only by the game’s cartoony, juvenile art style. But that’s a matter of taste.
Which is ultimately what Saints Row: The Third comes down to; a matter of taste. If you liked the first two games and enjoyed the freedom and silliness they afforded you, Saints Row: The Third promises to have you covered, and then some. But if you haven’t played any of the previous games and you’re still unsure, then consider your reaction to to the following paragraph.
One of the vehicles is adorned with a giant hoover on the bonnet. Drive along Steelport’s bustling streets and you can suck pedestrians into the car and then fire them out of a mounted canon. In a shower of star-shaped confetti, victims go flying across the skyline, only to splat against distant buildings. The car is called “Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax.”
If that made you chuckle, or think “shit yeah, I wanna do that!” then Saints Row: The Third could be the game for you. Otherwise, you should probably steer clear. Volition have chosen their route. Once you have giant dildo swords in your game, there’s no turning back.
The Lone Steven
I want. “Giant Dlido swords”, i thought i would never read that here on an article. Does the NuTSAck or TSAcast crew work in THQ then?;op this sounds like it is going to be very fun.
PeacekeeperAlpha
I’m a havvin this one. Will we be able to roam around Stillwater at all, even in the beginning? Or is our Stillwater time restricted to the mission area?
moshi
I’ve still not got round to playing the previous 2 yet, they have always seemed to escape my attention and have no idea what the game is like, are they worth a punt if cheap enough !
Kevatron400
Think of them a bit like GTA on acid. Plus Eliza Dushku was one of the voice actors, previously, and if that doesn’t sell it, I don’t know what will. Actually a lot of the cast in SR2 were pretty famous: Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Dorn, Jay Mohr and Keith David were all in there as well.
R4U Eldave0
Essentially its the following formula:
GTA4 + full Co-Op – seriousness + decent soundtrack – decent visuals = SR2 ;)
hazelam
you missed one.
+fun
moshi
Sold
R4U Eldave0
This is a must buy for me after loving the past two games (and hating the seriousness of GTA4). That Dildo picture always makes me think of that bit from “Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” ;)
hazelam
i’m definitely looking forward to this one, i’ve played through the second saints row game three or four times now, it’s that fun.
i think i’ll give the dildo sword a miss though.
though that people firing car sounds like a bloody good laugh. >:)
scavenga
Oh hells yes. Must have! Loved SR2, this is going to be brilliant!
I would get it even if it was just SR2 warmed up with new missions.
Rocket_345
Love the Saints Row series so this is a must buy. Can’t wait to try out the dildo sword and people firing car.
Foxhound_Solid
Never could get into them.
Smallville2106
I’ll be picking this up day one.
Ryan1991
Great. Loved the first two. I hope multiplayer is a lot better this time round. Was very annoying waiting 20 hours to get into a game and was always lag when you did find one.