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Opinion

Five Things Cheaper Than Angry Birds Trilogy On PS Vita

These birds don't say "cheap cheap".

Angry Birds Trilogy is heading to PlayStation Vita this week, but the news of the avian physics game heading to the platform isn’t the real story, it’s the fact that the game will be priced at £34.99, and that’s quite expensive compared to the budget price of the mobile equivalents.

So, we’ve got five related things that you can buy for cheaper (or about the same price – £35 seems more popular than £34.98) than Angry Birds Trilogy, starting with an actual bird.

An Actual Bird

Actual birds are cheaper than throwing virtual birds at virtual green pigs on your Vita screen, and that’s just a fact. Unless you’re looking for a really rare parrot, then £35 should be enough of a budget for you to buy that budgie you’ve always desired. If you go over to Gumtree, then you can even see a pair of budgies and a cage for the price of Angry Birds on a slightly bigger device in your pocket.

Helo thy i hve two budgies fr sale blue one is hand tame nt bite you sit on hand com on shoulder sit on yr head two budgies with cage £35 take food frm hand as well.pikup or can delver fr feul coast.

How can you resist a deal like that? I wouldn’t recommend throwing these birds at pigs (or anything, really) as that would make them very angry and it’s actually illegal to do so. In fact, I’d go as far to say that I do not condone the throwing of birds in anything other than a virtual game-based environment.


Fifty Copies Of Angry Birds On iOS

The Angry Birds Trilogy includes a total of – wait for it – three Angry Birds games, each of which are priced at 69p on iOS. You could buy each of these sixteen times over and have a couple of pounds to spare! So that means you and fifteen others could get the full Angry Birds Trilogy experience – albeit without the additional functionality to create your own Angry Birds tunes – for the price of one single Vita experience.

And anyway, who wants to create songs in Angry Birds when you can just do that in Mario Paint for free? Literally not one person on this green and blue planet of ours.


A Really Nice Bird Feeder

Studies* have shown that feeding birds is way better than throwing birds or owning them, so why not forget about Angry Birds on PS Vita and just buy a really nice bird feeder from Amazon? I thought that this one was particularly snazzy, but Tuffcub, who seems to be an expert on bird feeders as well as fashion, described it as “a tad avant-garde” and opted for this one instead.

*These studies may or may not have consisted of me replicating Angry Birds in real life by throwing bird seed – not birds – at creatures of the avian persuasion.


Ten Vita Games And An 8GB Memory Card

Angry Birds is good, and there’s three of them in this package, with over 700 levels of content on offer, but you know what’s even better? Ten good games for under £27, that’s what you should be looking for instead.

It’s great that you can buy LittleBigPlanet Vita, WipEout 2048, MotorStorm RC, Frobisher Says, Little Deviants, Ecolibrium, Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters, Lemmings, Hungry Giraffe and Rotating Octopus along with a 8GB Vita memory card for just £26.99 then, isn’t it? That’s certainly better value than three Angry Birds games, but probably not quite as good as fifty copies of the game on iOS.


A New Office Chair

I went to IKEA on Sunday and bought a new office chair to go in front of my desk. At no point did I think “I should be buying a new Vita game, a pair of budgies, a bird feeder or fifty copies of Angry Birds instead.” So this is clearly the best purchase you make for that £35 you were saving up for an overpriced port of three mobile games.

I am sitting in the chair right now and I can say with confidence that it allows you to “sit comfortably since the chair is adjustable in height”, as the description on IKEA’s website says. In fact, if I hadn’t bought the chair then you probably wouldn’t be reading this, as I’d have gone to do something else rather than use my new piece of furniture.


There are currently about seventy comments on the post on the EU PlayStation Blog, every single one of which mentions the ridiculous pricing of the title.

18 Comments
  1. rosswilson17
    Member
    Since: Jun 2013

    Haha, good article. If they had charged a fiver or less I, and probably many more, would have picked it up :(
    I cant see them making their money back on this.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 18:47.
  2. BULLofDOOM
    Member
    Since: Feb 2013

    Or for just £5 more you can get 12 months PS+ and enjoy much better games on (soon to be) all 3 platforms.

    Would also buy you a Philadelphia Steak Sandwich , hot wings, curly fries and a few pints of beer at Hooters (Nottingham) where the birds are extremely friendly not angry.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 18:54.
    • matthangzhou
      Member
      Since: Sep 2010

      I was going to mention ps+ such a good deal in comparison.

      Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 19:15.
    • Starman
      Member
      Since: Jul 2011

      I’m going there tomorrow!

      Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 22:14.
  3. jimmy-google
    Member
    Since: Feb 2009

    I’ve never been thought angry birds was worth paying for.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 18:59.
  4. DixNeuf
    Member
    Since: Apr 2010

    Absolutely ludicrous pricing. I’ll still get it eventually as I’m going for a 100% complete UK retail set, but when it’s much, much cheaper. Expect it in the bargain bins by Xmas.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 19:07.
  5. Amphlett
    Member
    Since: Jul 2009

    £35 will get you a dance at Spearmint and a couple of drinks, just.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 19:07.
  6. mrfodder
    Member
    Since: Nov 2009

    They must’ve had enough idiots pay full price on the other platforms to justify bothering.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 19:32.
  7. TSBonyman
    Member
    Since: Dec 2009

    The only people i could see paying £35 for it are those who are under the thumb of their kids – like that elderly woman i saw hunched up in the cold, queueing up for the midnight GTA V launch, at 7pm. There was no way she was a GTA fan, no doubt she had some ‘little angel’ waiting impatiently at home.

    Good call on the bird-feeders, it’s heading for that time of year now when our little feathered friends could do with a bit of help.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 20:31.
  8. tactical20
    Member
    Since: May 2010

    I got Tuffcub’s bird feeder for my dad last year to go outside his home office window. Was a definite hit. Had a good few species stop by and visit, not to mention a decent size crew of squirrels.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 21:17.
    • Tuffcub
      On the naughty step.
      Since: Dec 2008

      See Blair – nerr!

      Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 21:26.
  9. philbert8
    The Frankie Boyle Of TSA
    Since: Sep 2010

    6. Your mum. Ha, ha!

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 21:21.
  10. Starman
    Member
    Since: Jul 2011

    Total ripoff, fortunately I found angry birds pretty rubbish anyway.

    Comment posted on 15/10/2013 at 22:17.

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