News Snatch: No Blu-Ray For Xbox

ns4You put your Blu-ray in, your Blu-ray out, in, out, in, out, shake it all about, the Xbox Hokey Cokey continues. Steve Ballmer is on record saying the Xbox was getting Blu-ray ‘accessories’. Nope, it is not. Major Nelson (note: not a real Major) posted on his blog,

“We have no plans for Blu-Ray on Xbox 360. During an interview yesterday, Steve Ballmer was asked about Blu-Ray and the Xbox 360. I wanted to clear something up. Steve was referring to Blu-Ray accessories for the PC. As we have said in the past, we have no plans to introduce a Blu-Ray drive for the Xbox 360.”

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The ever chatty Major Nelson (I always think of the bully from The Simpsons when I read his name – Ha-Ha!) continued,

“In fact, the future of home entertainment starts very soon when Xbox 360 becomes the first and only console to offer instant-on 1080p streaming HD movies. With a library of thousands of TV shows and movies to choose from, Xbox 360 owners can instantly watch the movies they want, when they want, in the highest form of high definition.”

Wow. Not just high definition – the HIGHEST form of high definition with instant start times. Let us investigate these claims. To bypass any buffering and achieve the ‘instant start’ feature a movie will begin in a lower resolution, minus Dolby 5.1 and then  gradually increase the resolution until you get to full 1080P as the movie buffers in the background. Physical Blu-ray discs have a maximum audio/video bit rate of 48mbps and so far Microsoft have not revealed the bit rate of this service, however if we look current HD streaming services on offer, the winner is the PSN Video store with a bit rate of 8mbs. Zune may offer more than 8mbps but does anybody think it will offer over 48mbps?

ns5Should Veronica Belmont be worried? The U.S. PSN pin-up and has been the host of Qore since its inception but lurking over on Craigslist an advert,

 ‘Experienced Female host needed for a show revolving around the video game world. PlayStation 3 Knowledge IS A MUST.’ 

A host for PS3 Video game show.. hmm.. which show could that be then? There are so many shows that fit that description. Whilst you ponder which of the many thousands of PS3 videos shows this advert could be about, here is a video of Veronica shaking her shapely hips to spin a hula hoop. This has nothing to do with the news story and everything to do with it being Friday, there’s not much news and it’s quite pleasant to watch.

 

It’s the (possibly) long awaited return of the “Rude Bits” section! First up, a couple of posters for saucy temptress, Bayonetta have appeared in Japans Shinjuku Station’s complete with fliers than can be pulled off. What is Bayonetta wearing underneath those fliers? Get ripping Japanese people!

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Also in Japan (where else) the PSP is about to get a new beat ’em up in the shape of Ikki Tousen: Xross Impact. The seemingly standard sideways scrolling brawler has a new feature which you won’t be seeing in Streetfighter V. It’s ‘costume destruction’, you can literally punch the panties of the characters. Japanese PSP players can also get their hands on a doll of ‘Saber’ from up coming role playing game ‘Fate/EXTRA’. The unique perving point is the front of the characters dress is completely transparent, revealing yes – more panties. If you want to see more than Panties (your dirty pervs) then wait for Dante’s Inferno – according to reports the menu features a video of topless woman doing all sorts of saucy things.

ns7Day Two of the UK Postal strike and it’s causing havoc for online retailers. According to MCV, ShopTo.net has had over 1,000 copies of FIFA 10 returned. ShopTo along with Amazon, Play, Gameseek and others are sourcing other methods of making sure their customers receive their games. The MD of Zoombits Jonathan Ruff said,

“It’s really been a nightmare, and there’s very little you can do about it. There are not many other options to Royal Mail if you want to offer free shipping.”

Amazon are assuring customers that they will receive their goods and it is rumoured the strikes have cost the Post Office their lucrative contract for Amazon deliveries.  The article on MCV ends with,

‘Online retailers are desperate to ensure pre-ordered games reach consumers on release day. If they fail, they risk potentially pushing customers offline and onto the High Street’.

Unfortunately this is very true. I cancelled my online order for Eyepet as I knew he wouldn’t be arriving today and forked out an extra fiver and got him from HMV this morning. Sorry online retailers.

ns8Final Fantasy Versus is alive! Yes indeed, everyone’s favourite PS3 exclusive Final Fantasy instalment still exists. Now then SquareEnix, did you read the Snatch a few weeks ago when I said we really don’t want to know about games until you’ve actually started work on them? You did release a small teaser trailer at the Tokyo Game Show which was taken from the game, right? Over to Versus director, Tetsuya Nomura,

“That wasn’t development stuff, but a technical demo reel of sorts.” 

If  I were an Eyepet I would be pulling my fur out in frustration at this point. Will any of this tech demo be appearing in the game? 

“The Venetian cityscape won’t be in the game. We hurriedly put together a video because we wanted people be assured that Versus is also still under development.”

Next time why not have a nice big sign saying “Final Fantasy Versus is still in development but its way to early for us to show you anything,” rather than make up something which is not going to be in the final game? It’s not that difficult – here let me help, I’ve made the sign for you…

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Stop with the announcing of games before you’ve even started work on them. Tell us when can we see evidence of the actual game?

“We’ll gradually unveil it starting next year, at E3 if we’re quick enough.”

ns3And Finally.. Electronic Arts encourages you to kill babies. An Achievement (and presumably Trophy) in the upcoming Dante’s Inferno is ‘Bad Nanny’ which is awarded when you ‘slaughter an undetermined number of unbaptized infants’. The most tasteless Achievement ever? The International Nanny Association (INA) seem to think so.

 “INA is opposed to video games that promote and encourage players to “kill” babies, even in fantasy play. It is our opinion that this type of play may promote violence towards children. The name of the trophy or achievement, “Bad Nanny,” is offensive to our association in that we strive to promote and educate the public regarding the selfless work nannies do to support families by providing quality in-home child care.”

No Snatches next week as I’m off to be very glamorous and a superstah deejay. Oh alright, I’m going to holed up in a basement in Bradford twiddling buttons but that doesn’t sound half as cool does it? Tata!

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