Dante’s Inferno Of War III (Collection)

Dante’s Inferno and God Of War III – both out next year, and both rather similar. Of course, Kratos wasn’t the first dude to run around waving his sword but he’s certainly one of the more recent, and with EA’s rather more interpretive take on Dante’s Inferno we thought it might be fun to see just how similar these two games really are.

They really are.

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The fighting itself. It’s rather similar, really – similar button combos, lots of pressing Square for good results.  Lots of flashes of light.  Lots of clinking of steel.  You get the idea, except Dante moves at 60fps whereas Kratos is as jerky as (beef) jerky from Jerkyville, United States of Jerks.

The weaponry. Sure, different actual weapons, but everything’s swung about with the same sense of weight and the air combos are very alike.  The two blokes are a bit similar, too, although Dante’s makeup is a little less in your face than the man mountain Kratos’.  No daft goatee, either.

Rooms full of monsters, undead things and general nastiness, sealed off by a magic thing until you’ve dispatched every last one of them.  Check.  Sure, the developers need to have some way of stopping the player dashing through the entire game in less than 20 minutes, but how about some puzzles?  Oh.

The big beast thing. Kinda controls the same, don’t you think?  I mean, there’s only so many ways you can move a minotaur, but – hey. I’d have preferred one of them to have controls a bit like the cars in Saboteur so it looks like the guy in charge is a pissed up glue sniffer with spuds for hands.

Thematically, I know one is Hell and the other is some sunny tourist island off the coast of Greece, but come on guys, at least dial down the giant red faces.  If I want giant red faces I’ll hit myself with a frying pan and then go stare at the mirror, I don’t want them looming up over the sides of buildings thankyouverymuch.

Quick time events. I’ve hated button presses like this ever since Dirk-whatshisname asked me to do it for 18 minutes during the ‘game’ Dragon’s Lair thought it was back in the 40s.  Oh yes, and pressing the triggers to go into some kind of super power mode.  Where do they get these ideas from?

Still, if you’ve only got a 360 at least now you won’t have to go and buy a PS3 to get your third person button mashing ‘historic’ action adventure head on, Dante will do you just fine.  Of course, if you do go and buy a PS3 you’ll then be able to play 3D Dot Game Heroes, which is absolutely nothing like The Legend Of Zelda series.

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