Well then. 2016. Wow. I had asked our Editor Teflon if we could simply use a large poo emoji for the review of the year, but he is insisting we write things so let me start with a positive which I will explain fully when we get to December: We are all Bruce Willis.
So then, January, a relatively crappy month, but that didn’t stop Team TSA from posting nearly three hundred pieces of news, reviews, and features. We started 2016 in the same manner as 2015 ended, with Call of Duty: Black Ops III topping the charts, and rumours of the next Assassin’s Creed game, which won’t ship until 2017.
We took a look at the biggest thing to happen in gaming for years – virtual reality – and then we all had a good long chat about it. Kaz revealed there were 100 games coming out for PSVR, and Alton Towers revealed their first VR rollercoaster. Snow, and Thunderbird were revealed for PSVR and the vanished without a trace, and a Swiss retailer correctly predicted the new PlayStation VR hardware would cost £350, whilst pre-orders for Oculus Rift went live at the eye watering price of £499.
There were spontaneous outpourings of joy as Bubble Bobble was announced for PlayStation 4 and in one of their less popular moves, Sony removed the prices from the PlayStation Store updates on their blog. Reviews included a load of games that no one remembers, like Final Fantasy Explorers, Death by Game Show, This War Of Mine: The Little Ones, Amplitude, and Fat Princess Adventures. Teflon also took a look ar Far Cry: Primal, which included prehistoric willies.
On the weirder side of the news, Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII did a spot of modelling, you could fondle boobs with your PS4. Political buffoon and then Mayor of London, Boris Johnson played Minecraft, and an analyst suggested the Nintendo NX might work with the PS4. Given how the rest of the year panned out it’s a prediction that now seems quite sane.
In world news, the Zika virus decided to make it’s presence known just as the Ebola virus epidemic was being neutralised in Africa, and then 2016 decided to let us know just how utter shite it was going to be by quickly killing off Terry Wogan, Alan Rickman, and David Bowie.
Now, as it’s tradition, we’re going to hand over to Mike McCarthy for details of January’s weather.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc2lyM2hFCk
bunimomike
Thanks for this, TC. It helps me remember the games I’ve missed! :D *goes to add to the Christmas Shopping List*
The Lone Steven
Ah, January was indeed a crappy month for me due to life beating me up.
I forgot Far Cry went Primal. Kinda didn’t live up to Far Cry 4. I mean, 4, we had Baker Min. I mean, Troy Pagan. Primal? Literally nothing heard about it beyond “It’s prehistorical Far Cry.” Think it was just before Ubisoft Towers was removed as a mandatory game element.
Lightning modelling. Hmm, she is good looking but I’ll go for Aeris or Tifa myself. Or both. Though, Cindy from FF15 if she is 18 or older. What? They do fanservice stuff like that and I will react in the way they expect. That and Google Images provides a lot of fanservice.
Final Fantasy Explorers? What the feck is/was that? I don’t know if I should megaloathe it out of duty as a Final Fantasy fan or pity it for trying to be a Final Fantasy game.
Think it was around March or April that I decided to grace TSA with my presence again as a regular. For some, it was the most awful day of their lives. It drove them to flee the site. For me, it was Tuesday.*
*Legally, I have to say this is a joke.
Kahana
Am I going mad or is the picture from the witness and it isn’t mentioned in this?
dave87fez
“… and then 2016 decided to let us know just how utter shite it was going to be by quickly killing off Terry Wogan, Alan Rickman, and David Bowie.”
Yep. Turd of a year. And none of it bodes well for the future. A victory for hatred, this year.
On the plus side…erm. Well, there’s…shit, I got nothin.