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Star Wars Kinect Sounds Like an Atrocity

Please, somebody Force-choke me.

The press release just came through for Star Wars Kinect. It’s coming out on the 3rd of April and they’ve somehow seen justification in ramming a dancing game mode into it. I wish it was April the 1st.

Galactic Dance Off Mode is, according to the bile-summoning PR schtick, “loaded with Star Wars-themed pop tunes where those still honing their Jedi skills can take a break to battle Darth Vader on the dance floor”. It genuinely sounds like the worst thing anyone could ever have put in a video game to me. I don’t know, perhaps kids will adore throwing shapes with Jar Jar Binks but I can only imagine there being any joy if you get to pop and lock his skinny little neck.

Don’t panic though other, potentially less horrendous, game modes include the ability to take part in lightsaber duels, space battles and ride on speeder bikes. That almost sounds like it might not be completely awful.

So, April 3rd in the UK and £39.99 for the game. The limited edition R2-D2 Xbox 360, C3P0 controller and white Kinect (which I do really want) is set to cost £349.99 and includes a copy of the game. More tempting than the dark side of The Force.

Edit: It’s only fair to point out that Tuffcub broke this story months ago. I’d managed to expunge that from my memory and now I’m going to have to pay for another expensive course of hypnotherapy. Thanks.

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48 Comments
  1. cc_star
    Team TSA: Writer
    Since: Forever

    Missed it when tuffcub first broke the news a month ago.

    I’m not against a Star Wars dance game considering the way things have gone for the franchise, but it infecting another game which might, just might have had a chance of turning out OK, what a farce.

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:29.
    • hazelam
      Member
      Since: Feb 2009

      aw come on, how can you say that?

      this game was never gonna turn out OK. ^_^

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:52.
    • manicminer
      Banned
      Since: Feb 2012

      This comment is hidden.

      Comment posted on 08/02/2012 at 19:28.
  2. 3shirts
    Member
    Since: Aug 2008

    Ho lee shit!
    This could be the most embarrassing thing in the entire world. Lucas clearly has absolutely no respect for the brand anymore

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:39.
    • Burgess_101
      Member
      Since: May 2009

      Exactly what my father said when he saw the Vodafone ad with Yoda in it. Just making a mockery of one of the best Fantasy worlds ever created its terrible.

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 18:10.
      • Foxhound_Solid
        Is a smart cookie.
        Since: Dec 2009

        Tis a shame lol. I expect to see Darth Vader on celebrity big brother next. Never expected anything from this. Still…would have rocked…a proper star wars beat em up with move and coop story campaign mode…

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 18:57.
      • themanlikedave
        Member
        Since: Apr 2011

        Also exactley what i said, well, shouted, when i saw it, why not just put some lipstick on him, shove him on a street corner and be done with it.

        Comment posted on 08/02/2012 at 13:20.
  3. Jakster123x
    Member
    Since: Aug 2011

    Oh

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:48.
  4. Omac_brother
    Member
    Since: Nov 2011

    I feel a disturbance in the force…oh, never mind, its just Jabba the hutt doing the shuffle.

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:49.
  5. IAmJacksMedullaOblongata
    Member
    Since: Nov 2011

    I find your lack of groove disturbing.

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:50.
    • jikomanzoku
      Member
      Since: Jan 2010

      lol

      Comment posted on 14/02/2012 at 14:20.
  6. Youles
    Member
    Since: Feb 2011

    Perhaps we’ll see more dance modes, it might replace zombie hoard modes. Dance Fifa? Dance CoD?

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:50.
    • Omac_brother
      Member
      Since: Nov 2011

      The image of Rooney doing the lawnmower is perma-burned into my brain. Ta for that.

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:56.
    • tonycawley
      Pint! Pint!
      Since: Feb 2009

      Karaoke cod.

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:02.
      • McProley
        Member
        Since: Aug 2011

        They did it with Daytona!

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 19:48.
      • Sympozium
        Member
        Since: Aug 2009

        Daaaaytona..

        No wonder they did it… catchy theme that may never be forgotten.

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 21:30.
      • McProley
        Member
        Since: Aug 2011

        Indeed. It’s that catchy its now stuck in my head!

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 22:54.
  7. bluetemplar
    Member
    Since: Aug 2011

    “Thats no moon… it’s a turgid piece of crap”

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:51.
  8. OneShotWook
    Member
    Since: Jun 2010

    I’m with Chewbacca on this one.

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 16:56.
  9. Tuffcub
    On the naughty step.
    Since: Dec 2008

    Some of the best #starwarsdancesongs

    An Obi-Wan Bites The Dust
    Anything by jABBA
    You Bespin Me Round (Like a Record)
    Total Eclipse of the Hutt
    It’s getting Hoth in here
    Candle in the Windu
    Jedi Will Survive
    Sith U Been Gone
    Ewok This Way

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:00.
    • tonycawley
      Pint! Pint!
      Since: Feb 2009

      You’ve had months to think these up, that’s not fair.

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:04.
      • Tuffcub
        On the naughty step.
        Since: Dec 2008

        Not al mine, from Twitter

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:11.
    • Tuffcub
      On the naughty step.
      Since: Dec 2008

      Wherever I lay my AT-AT’s my home
      Mos Eisley, Eisley Baby

      Lols :)

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:10.
      • TSBonyman
        Member
        Since: Dec 2009

        Twitter or not you’ve outdone yourself today, Bravo! :D

        Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 20:08.
    • hazelam
      Member
      Since: Feb 2009

      Death Star by Nickelback? ^_^

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:25.
  10. TSBonyman
    Member
    Since: Dec 2009

    The farce is strong in this one

    Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:04.
    • tonycawley
      Pint! Pint!
      Since: Feb 2009

      The farts are strong in this bum.

      I’m pink therefore I’m spam.

      And other similar sounding things.

      Comment posted on 07/02/2012 at 17:08.

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