Big week! What with E3 stuff going on all over the place, and TSA getting a great new look to proceedings, I felt it was about time that we let Steven stretch his legs again, so that we can have a nice quiet summer.
That’s the plan, anyway.
Bearded pink Sackface and the hippy that fears normal shoes couldn’t do the Round-Up this week, due to a certain folded paper murderer abusing his power, forcing them to speak to him in Tef’s office. So I, the recently demoted TSA teaboy and head of the crazies, shall do it instead.
Adam’s rounded up the winners from a bunch of competitions this week. The DiRT Showdown, Sniper Elite V2, Zowie Gaming Gear and Max Payne 3 strategy guide winners are all recapped, so check in to see who won!
Then there is the newly announced DiRT Showdown tournament. Death_in_Flamez is in charge on this one, and 16 people can have a go for the win over the 5 weeks that it will run for. There’s no prize for this one, it’s purely for fun and bragging rights. However, Flamez and Origami Killer are going to put together some videos of the action and have a go at commentating them. Should be interesting to see.
Let’s see what you’re been planning to play this week.
The weekly Uncharted 3 meet begins tonight at 7pm, but please don’t try to destroy your PS3 in an attempt to better Drake, as he’s already way ahead of you. Then on Sunday, it’s time to get very dirty and have a showdown with Rimjaw, or perhaps he just wants to play DiRT Showdown instead.
More driving about, as Tonyyeb wants you to join him for a nice drive in the countryside, playing Gran Turismo 5 on Monday. There is another DiRT meet on Monday but it is for DiRT 3 and Cat & Mouse only, made by podcast question thread regular, Youles. Then on Tuesday, yet another DiRT 3 meet from the Junk Boy.
Tef has formed a Resistance on the Vita meet and requires you to join him on Thursday in order to defeat the Chimera. Also on Thursday, Captain Kirk requires help on Battlefield 3 as someone has shot the Enterprise down three times this week. That one’s only open if you have the DLC for BF3, though. Finally, on Friday Youles wants you to wipe each other out on Wipeout 2048, so he can win the race.
There’s probably going to be some more meets created as we go along, like the regular Battlefield 3 meet on Friday, so keep an eye out for those. You can set up your own meet if you have more than 250 TSA points too.
Origami Killer, put that statue back where it belongs!
The staff almost panicked when TSA ran out of tea this week, due to the amount of hardwork they had, as E3 was this week. There’s loads more E3 news that the guys wrote up, which you can catch up on here. There’s too much stuff to even link to! You can also click on Highlights on the main page.
In reviews this week, Nofi reviewed Sony’s Conference, but didn’t give it a score, so you can’t just skip the article. Aran Suddi also reviewed SBK Generations. I wonder if the SBK is something dirty…
The man who is 99% IRN BRU reviewed the Harley Quinn’s Revenge DLC for Batman: Arkham City. I’m told that Kris had to be sedated due to Blair beating him to it.
Kris was sent into a dark corridor filled with steam and a lot of pipes to bring us a preview of Alien: Colonial Marines. I’m told he nearly got TSA banned due to him asking if Batman is in it every 7 minutes. Our man on the ground at E3, Delriach, was able to preview David Cage’s new game, Beyond: Two Souls. We did tell him that it wasn’t a fighting game, but he insisted on going dressed as Raiden from Mortal Kombat.
The Dan Lee previewed a full moon, before we told him to actually give us a preview of Rainbow Moon. Kris asks us if we should preview this game? We say HELL YEAH! So, where is the preview Kris?
A certain 8 Bit Hero was interviewed on a rainy day for last week’s Meet the Reader. The very last Meet the Reader is up tomorrow and I bet it’ll just be a clips show. Why? Because Tef couldn’t be bothered and was mad at Gazzagb for stealing his LBP Vita code. We discovered what you all thought of Mass Effect 3 on WeView verdict, but there wasn’t a WeView this week due to E3 and Kris threatened to resign if he had to do more work than he normally does. Greg also brought us the usual What We Played.
The Podcast guys brought us loads of podcasting this week, as they did one for each of the E3 conferences.
Time to see what has happened behind the gates of the forums. Warning, it smells of cat urine and is not safe for work.
- Colin R asks about Xbox exclusives and if it is worth getting a 360.
- Symp asks what will you be doing whilst you are downloading the PS+ freebies. I know what Origami Killer did, he broke PSN by downloading everything and damaged the back end of the internet.
- Boomshanks is off on an experiment, to see if he can live in the Real World without having a PC to head on TSA with.
- And Elder Mike wants to discuss the new TSA look. If you haven’t noticed the new look then I suggest you get your eyes checked. I can do it for £100 or a jar of biscuits.
There’s loads of other nonsense in there, so definitely go in and have a look for yourself.
No, you are not taking over the round up Origami Killer! GIVE ME THAT BACK!
Anyway, time for the showdown. Kozak won again, beating the Resistance Burning Skies man 3-1, so time to mix it up again. Kozak will go up against… Sephiroth! [Not the sack one, I just liked that image – Tef]
John Kozak
Pros:
- Highly trained, military Special Ops dude.
- Part of a highly trained, Special Ops team.
- He’s in the future, so he’s got all sorts of fancy gizmos, like heads up displays around his gun and stuff. That stuff’s snazzy.
Cons:
- Totally riffing off similar characters.
- Only good enough for the Ghost Recon B-team? Clearly he totally sucks, right?
- I feel like I’ve seen all this before.
Sephiroth
Pros:
- Can destroy a planet.
- Very skilled fighter and considered to be the very best.
- Has an army of Fangirls to rely on.
Cons:
- Can only fly in a circle, due to only having one wing.
- Was defeated by a boy, I’ll bet that was really embarrassing.
- Could destroy a planet and yet he chooses to summon Meteor? So he is not very smart…
That is all for this week, now I’m off to drag OK to the room which has a hybrid of Justin Beiber and Usher in it. Oh, and stay out of my office while I’m gone.
– This week’s post was hastily slapped together like a jigsaw he couldn’t be bothered to do by Steven, and then turned into something slightly legible by me, teflon. You’ll be pleased to hear that Gazza’s back next week!
Origami Killer
I’ve literally been raped in this community round up. :o
This may be the silliest question I ask, and don’t hate me, but who is Sephiroth?
Roynaldo
Die.
Origami Killer
Final Fantasy character I’m guessing then? XD
freezebug2
Haha, it certainly reads like a tale of unrequited love, you really should refrain from toying with his emotions mate :P
freezebug2
Well done with the round up Steve…..shop floor standing in for management again, one day they’ll get you a cake :-‘/
teflon
One day they’ll make a film about Steven and OK.
Origami Killer
I hope its not one of “those” films :o
teflon
Yeah, I’m bored of heist films myself.
Sympozium
He’s a dood that went nuts whenever he discovered his past so he went mad and killed everyone that called him a Davidleeroth.
He likes his Mother very much.
The Lone Steven
You do know that Roy kidnaps people if they don’t know anything about FF or hate it and then gives them a long lecture on it. I’m told his powerpoints are very good.
Sephiroth, is the main antaginost of FF7. He was Soldier’s number 1 soldier but turned to the dark side when he discovered his true roots. He destroyed Cloud’s town. He tried to destroy to planet to get more of the Mako. Oh and has probably one of the best theme songs for a villain. One Winged Angel. I know it’s not his theme but it is his final boss theme song. SEPHIROTH! *goes off singing OWA*
Jas-n
I like how folding lives on on TSA ;)
gazzagb
Next week, I promise! I haven’t done a Roundup in a few weeks and so I missed the beginning of June.
Jas-n
What’s your excuse for last month? ;).
gazzagb
June was the first one I was meant to do I thought? You’d posted the May one with the 300th ranking or whatever?
Death_In_Flamez
Urmmm although I’ve never heard of him this Sephiroth bloke sounds nasty! I’ll go for him ;)
theberzerka
Sephiroth wins without a doubt.
Aquastyle
Nice round-up Steven, one question though. This showdown, do you vote for it in the comments? In which case I vote Sephiroth, easy.
teflon
You do indeed. :)
Aquastyle
Alright! I love fun little “pointless” things like this, nice feature. Is there a way to suggest
Aquastyle
Sorry, misclick. I was going to ask whether one can send in suggestions for contenders, or if the writer of the round-up has all the power.
teflon
The writer has all the power, but feel free to make a suggestion anyway. The worst that can happen is we ban you on trumped up charges of insubordination… ;-)
I tend to pick characters from games that have appeared in the news lately, or could be quite a close match to the winner from the previous week. Looks like Sephiroth is a sure bet to win this week, so it’d have to be someone rather powerful to take him on.
The Lone Steven
Tef has already banned a few people for daring to suggest fighters. I’m told that Adam threatened to remove his tea access as well as his Toeshoe budget. Hang on, why does he get a toeshoe budget and yet, i can’t get a new snooker table for the mods club?! :p
Aquastyle
Oh, so that friendliness is just a part of his scheme to lull me into a false sense of security, I see now, it all makes sense.
I’ll be prepared and bring my pepperspray.
zakwhorules
Sephiroth has won that battle hands down!
An-dz
I will vote for kozac because the mental image i have of him somehow winning that fight is hilarious
An-dz
also i love that instead of putting up a pictuer of Sephiroth, you have sackboy dressed as him xD
nemesisND1derboy
Sephiroth, OBVIOUSLY!
Also, the song I was actually listening to hen I read this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV9WAiGqVls
nemesisND1derboy
*when…
Dom El
Sephiroth clearly!
hazelam
you know those signs that read “you don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it helps”
clearly, you’d need one that says “you DO have to be crazy to work here” for TSA. ^_^
i told you giving OK that sniper game was a mistake.
and Sephiroth, hands down.
he’s the end boss of a Final Fantasy game, those guys can take ridiculous amounts of punishment before they go down, and even when they do, they just come back in a more powerful form, twice!!
even some elite soldier really doesn’t stand a chance, unless Bahamut materia is standard issue for the special forces these days.
Origami Killer
“i told you giving OK that sniper game was a mistake”
Your next on my list ;)
hazelam
i aint scared of you. >_<
right, google, kevlar.
dang, wrong window.
ignore that.
Nate
“Unless Bahamut materia is standard issue for the special forces these days”
Careful, you’ll give Infinity Ward ideas.
hazelam
that might be cool though.
instead of a moab, whatever the hell that is, you get to summon a huge dragon thing.
start a third COD series, one in a fantasy setting instead of these gritty realistic settings.